At the Berlin Marathon on Sept. 28th, 30-year-old Dennis Kimetto of Kenya lowered the men’s world record by 26 seconds and became the first person to run under 2:03, finishing in 2:02:57. He covered the course in an average per mile pace of 4:41, an amazing performance.

Dennis Kimmeto. Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commoms

When I heard this news, I slammed my fist on the table. Then I went on a long drive to a remote area and yelled obscenities for half an hour.

I was not angry about Dennis Kimetto breaking the world record. What’s got me seething is the women’s marathon record hasn’t been broken since 2003.

In a post I wrote earlier this year, I expressed my frustration and on-going intense angerness about the lack of a new women’s marathon world record. In the time span since Paula Radcliffe set the current mark of 2:15:25, which admittedly is an excellent time, the men have broken the record six times.

In my post, I chastised women marathoners for spending too much time getting together with friends, shopping, going out for frozen yogurt, and having wine parties.

Obviously my advice has not been heeded, and I am outraged, incensed and infuriated. Whenever someone mentions the word “marathon”, I go ballistic.

My anger management counselor says my anger is mis-directed. No way! He’s wrong!

Women marathoners, this is what I want to see happen so a new record will be set:

• Make your weekly long run a daily thing.
• Sleep less, run more.
• Every marathon you enter, make breaking the world record your goal.

I can’t get over how livid I am about no new record for so long. I am so, so mad right now….I need to vent!

My friend, Ruby Redpepper, has become so well-known that a very wonderful thing happened. President Obama invited her to a presidential retreat at Camp David. He told her he wants to experience the wonders of the animal kingdom with a true expert.

Earlier this year, as some readers may remember, I wrote a post about Ruby Redpepper coming to my house to give advice about releasing indigenous wild animals into my naturally landscaped front yard. Ruby owns AFS (Animal Fulfillment Specialists), and her knowledge about animals is unsurpassed.

In August, I wrote a post about traveling to Hawaii for a seminar that Ruby held there. Not long after that, she called and said because of my enthusiasm and dedication to learn about animals, she wanted to hire me as an assistant for the Camp David retreat. I couldn’t believe it. I get to be Ruby’s assistant, and I’ll meet the President.

Ruby and I met up the day before leaving, and she enthralled me with stories of rare lemurs during her recent trip to Madagascar.

The President sent a plane to pick us up, and I took a photo of Ruby before boarding.

We arrived in Washington, DC, and received an invitation to a dinner for diplomats at the White House. As the President came down the aisle, I got bumped trying to take a photo of Ruby while she stood in line.

After shaking hands with the guy below, the President introduced himself to Ruby and me. I commented on his tie, but I was so nervous, it came out, “I like your purple tail.”

The President smiled. “Jim, I don’t have a purple tail, but maybe Ruby can spot a purple-tailed animal at Camp David.”

The next day we went to Camp David and went on an afternoon hike; however, they requested we refrain from taking pictures, Ruby amazed the President and me with her magical ability to bring about encounters with a variety of animals just by wandering through the woods.

When we finished, Ruby apologized to the President for not finding an animal with a purple tail. He replied, “Perhaps we have one more chance. Jim, do you have a purple tail?”

Ruby said, “I bet he does. Sometimes I see his ears turn purple.”

Oh, I got upset. I jumped up and down and shouted, “I don’t have purple ears, and I don’t have a purple tail!”

The President said, “We’re just joking, Jim. I’m sure you don’t have a purple tail.”

Ruby gave me a pat on the back. “There, there, Jim. It’s all right.”  She told me I’d been a great assistant and was giving me a purple ribbon for outstanding effort.

That made me feel really, really special.

It’s been six months since I suffered a stress fracture in my foot. After going to the doctor, I thought I’d be ready to go by midsummer at the latest, but I’m still not running.

My foot doesn’t hurt, and I can work and walk just fine. But it’s slightly swollen, and when I try running, the swelling really increases.

So I’m waiting it out. As I wrote in a previous post, on three occasions I’ve laid off running more than a year because of injury. Though some friends have commented I must be depressed or anxious to get back at it, that’s not the case. I walk to the grocery store, coffee shop and other nearby places and get in a hike almost every weekend.

Last week I did a solo, 4-day road trip in Montana. My first stop was Missoula where I did a 16-mile day hike to the top of Mt. Stuart (7,960′) in the Rattlesnake Wilderness Area just north of town. I like hiking more than running, but it takes a lot more time.

Missoula is the home of the University of Montana. Several times over the years I’ve taken the trail to the M that overlooks the campus.

I also visited Helena, the state capital. I was wearing a collection of my race medals and ribbons as I toured the capitol building.

I crossed paths with a couple lawmakers who were impressed by my medals. They asked if I would address the assembly of legislators because they needed inspiration to overcome partisan bickering.

My speech was interrupted a couple times by standing ovation. A few days later I read that in a rare show of cooperation, the legislature passed more bills in one day than they had the entire year.

The above scenario is quite a story, however it happened in my mind only.

I went to Kalispell Brewing Company in Kalispell and the Great Northern Brewing Company in Whitefish. I talked to employees at both places about the business’s history and operation.

The Great Northern Brewery in Whitefish, Montana

I was in a great mood as I drove from town to town because the scenery is so great. Montana is beautiful!

Unless you enter races frequently, shoes may be a runner’s biggest expense. Through years of experience, I’ve learned how to maintain shoes so they’ll last a long time.

If you’re a heel striker, the heels wear very quickly. My lower back begins to ache if they get too worn.

You may have heard of Shoe Goo. It can be found at some sporting goods store.

I make a masking tape dam so the goo won’t ooze down the side, then I squeeze over the heel area.

The label says something about doing this in a well-ventilated area because of fumes, but I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.

I enjoy shoe-gooing because I get into a really good mood every time.

After a while I tend to lose focus, and somehow I’ve transitioned to dancing to loud music.

Inevitably, after a great time dancing, I pass out until the wee hours of the morning.

When I come to, I remember that I need to finish my shoes, however, somehow I’ve become less skilled. Normally I’d get angry, but with Shoe Goo, I crack up over my mistakes. Soon, I’m having fun with it.

At this point I’ve got the munchies really bad, and the Shoe Goo is smelling quite delicious. Though tempting, I rush to the convenience store instead.

Before hitting the sack, there’ll be little left of this spread.

Petra is leaving. Spokane will no longer be her home, and she’ll be very,very far from here.

I’m bummed because of Petra’s new job on the East Coast.

Last time I wrote about Petra, we were about to enter into a relationship and start a lifestyle I call intense realism, in which we’re a couple, yet are fluffy with others.

But Petra was offered a job at the National Institute of Running Sciences in Washington DC. Besides being a good runner, she has a lot of business acumen. Her job title will be director of corporate relations. It’s an excellent opportunity and excellent pay. Plus, any time of day she and co-workers can have elevator vs. stairs races in the multi-story Institute building.

I’m happy for Petra, yet it’s not welcome news. I cannot walk past the photo of her on my dresser top without getting really sad. I had to lay it down to stay functional.

Petra has a couple weeks before she has to leave, so I’ll still see her, but it won’t be the same.

She tells me she can arrange flying into town almost monthly, but I’m doubtful how successful a long-distance relationship can be.

To occupy my time and get over her after she leaves, I’ve got a project planned that’ll take the entire fall season to complete.

I’m making a hiking shell out of cayenne peppers. I’ve got tons of ’em in my garden, and I won’t have to buy bear spray anymore.

Welcome to the online program Race to Win. I’m your host, Sprint McDowell. I’d like to thank everyone watching here at the studio. We have a packed house today.

Let’s begin the competition! Answers are given at the end.

1)  Term for being beaten by a girl in a race.

• A)  I took a gender hit.
• B)  I got ponytailed.
• C)  I got chicked.
• D)  Sports bra 1; jockstrap 0

I like the responses to that question. I see prize money coming your way!Let’s see how you do on question number two.

2)  Common phrase for a runner slowing way down and finishing poorly.

• A)  My legs got fried like chicken.
• B)  I died.
• C)  I wasted my pace in the middle of the race.
• D)  When I tried turning it on, there was no switch.

Did you know Race to Win has been the No. 1-rated running quiz show for the past five years? In my book, our contestants are No. 1 also.

Now, question number three.

3)  Term for a strategy where you stay behind the leaders before making your move late in the race.

• A)  Hang back.
• B)  Hang out.
• C)  Run incognito.
• D)  The sneaky grim reaper.

Oh, our studio audience is really getting into it. I hear a group chanting someone’s name, and a couple banners are being waved. I like it!

Okay, next question.

4) Term for the item pictured below that runners wear at races.

• A)  Number thingy.
• B)  Post-race hook-up referral number.
• C)  Covert race security tracking number.
• D)  Race bib.

Now I’d like to get to know you. Tell me about yourself. Had any good races lately? How’s your training going? Speak at the photo of me below which activates an app that collects your words and delivers it to me real time.

Okay, thanks. Only two questions left, but it’s the toughest part of our quiz, Double Race to Win. Good luck!

5) Evan, a very talented runner, said, “I signed up for trash, but I cleaned like polish”, after running a 50-miler. What does this mean?

• A)  He ran into a tree.
• B)  He picked up litter while running.
• C)  He fought off a bear.
• D)  Profuse sweating rinsed away trail dust on his legs.

We’re down to our last question and the studio audience is on their feet screaming with excitement. Hold on a moment while I quiet things down.
Okay, that’s better.

6) Courtney, a very talented Canadian marathoner, said of her upcoming race, “I got my ducks in a line like cocky soldiers.” What does she mean?

• A)  There’s no stopping her sprint to the victory podium.
• B)  She’ll smash the course record.
• C)  No one, man or woman, will come close to beating her.
• D)  All of the above.

And here’s the answers:

• 1) C – I got chicked
• 2) B – I died
• 3) A – Hang back
• 4) D – Race bib
• 5) C – Profuse sweating rinsed away trail dust on his legs.
• 6) D – All of the above

If you got all questions right, you win $100 – great work! I salute you. Only 1 wrong gets you $75, and if you missed 2, you won $50! No prize money for getting 3 or more wrong, however, just for participating, you get $2. It always pays to play Race to Win!

We’re taking a hit because so much cash was won, but that’s why we have generous sponsors. To claim your earnings, register your score at Racetowin.com, then download the app Cash for Me. Tap the envelope below on your mobile screen, and a slot will form, dispensing your well-earned money.

I’m your host of Race to Win, Sprint McDowell. Until next time, keep on running and keep on winning! Bye!

Some runners, especially women, like to drink wine. I believe it does no help for your running.

Runners need frequent fluid replacement. Wine is a poor choice. Though resveratrol and other antioxidants in wine are supposedly good for you, they have a negative impact on running. If you foolishly choose to drink wine, it should be done only for that rare quiet and romantic moment.

Recently I received a bottle of wine as a gift. I put it in my cupboard, intending to dispose of it first chance I got.

Several days later when I took it from the cupboard to throw out, I noticed it was cabernet sauvignon, which is such a beautiful word. It’s no wonder French is known as the language of romantics.As I reached for the garbage, my arm brushed a hanging unit that holds pans and utensils. A wine opener fell to the floor.

I didn’t know I had a wine opener, but since I never use it, I must have forgot. Was this a sign? Should I try a little? I uncorked the bottle and took a sip.It actually wasn’t too bad. With each sip, it tasted better. So I had a glass, then another. Next thing I knew, the bottle was empty.

I didn’t want my good feeling to end, so I went to the store and bought another.After a couple more glasses, I really wanted a woman to come over and enjoy wine with me. It was awfully late; however, thanks to a stroke of ingeniousness, a hot woman was soon at my table.I changed into a nicer outfit and splashed on some cologne. She really liked my wine, and our conversation was so stimulating and romantic.We looked deep into each other’s eyes. I was so taken by her beauty and charm. I told her that her long, slender, Audrey Hepburn-like neck is so beautiful.

Soon we were toasting to a great evening and great company.

When it was time to bring the evening to a close, I laid down, whispering, “Good night, my precious love doll.”

I needed a pause in my running, a break from the training grind, so I arranged a trip to the Kona Coast in Hawaii. A friend pointed out that I’ve been injured and haven’t run in weeks. I totally forgot about that.

Besides the wildlife, plants in Hawaii are so unlike what we have in Spokane.

Ruby Redpepper, owner of Animal Fulfillment Specialists, was doing a seminar about Hawaiian wildlife. I hired Ruby a few months ago as a consultant when I released indigenous, wild animals into my naturally landscaped front yard. She knows so much about animals, and I really, really like animals. I wasn’t about to miss this seminar.

We spent the first day in the classroom learning about island wildlife.

Ruby sips water while listening to a participant describe how dolphins crawled onto a beach to lay in the sun with him.

During our first excursion I put my head in the water and did sea turtle calls like Ruby taught us. After a half hour without any luck, I fell on a sea urchin in a tidal pool. It took fellow group members fifteen minutes to pull out all the spines.

Then Ruby tried and right away a turtle came.Ruby has such a way with animals that it tried crawling out of the water and into her lap. But Ruby says it’s important not to touch the sea turtles.Whenever I approached the turtle, it swam away quickly. I grabbed a rock, but Ruby calmed me down. I like sea turtles, but not when they’re uncooperative. Ruby talked in a kind and gentle voice and persuaded the turtle to approach me.Geckos are everywhere in Hawaii. You’ll find them in some stores and homes roaming freely. They eat bugs that get inside.The gecko below lives in the house that I rented. If you get close, they scurry or jump away very quickly.I saw a pretty bird in a tree so I climbed up to get a picture. Ruby said there was no way that would happen, but I might see a chameleon. Sure enough, I did, and I got a close-up picture.

Each day after class, I returned to my rented house so excited by Ruby’s seminar that I read about animals till the wee hours of the morning.

Some readers may remember an earlier post about how I did away with my lawn and put in indigenous plants. As a follow up project, I made running paths that allow me to go for a run in the country without leaving my front yard.

It was suggested that I hold a marathon in my yard, so I got the course Boston certified, and wrote about the event in a post called Basalt and Pine Marathon.

I was hoping to make it an annual event; however, issues arose during the race that forced cancellation of this year’s event.

• Over 2,400 runners entered. They spent most of the race trying to squeeze past other participants without making much progress.
• Since the race course was a 220-foot loop, race officials soon lost track of lap counts and placing.
• Many runners left their warm up clothing in my neighbor’s yard, and I forgot that my event and his lawn-mowing schedule coincided. The shredded outfits left a bitter taste among participants.

The native plants make for a very attractive marathon course.

I’m still contemplating holding a marathon in my yard next year, My neighbor has agreed to adjust his lawn moving schedule. I just need to enlarge my running paths so they’ll handle thousands of runners.