In mid-June, I attended a wedding on the shore of Priest Lake in North Idaho. The dearly betrothed, Jill Heuer Gilson and Eric Cameron, are active in the same running clubs as myself, which is how they got to know one another.

The wedding was attended by a contingent of fellow running club members, and many assisted in preparations. I was asked to set up chairs for the outdoor ceremony, but I wanted to hike a lakeside trail first.

I spent a lot time chasing squirrels and putting wildflowers in my hair.

When I returned, I still had ten minutes before the wedding started to set up the chairs, but someone else had done it.

I was very angry and vented by throwing large rocks into the water during the ceremony.

There was a wedding morning 4-mile race I’d planned to run but couldn’t because of a stress fracture that has not fully healed.

Nick Freese and Eric Cameron, the top two male finishers of the 4-mile race, pose with Jill.

Amazingly, the night before the race, I had an athletivision. This is a term for a dream in which you win a competition that you were prevented from entering.  Neuroscientists believe events depicted in an athletivision are highly accurate.

Yet when I informed Nick, the winner, and Eric, the 2nd place finisher, that they were being bumped down a place, and I was the true winner because of my athletivision, they had problems doing the right thing.

Nick Freese: “Whatever, Jim”

Eric Cameron: “Jim, I had to set up the chairs for my own wedding.”

It’s a travesty I was not awarded first place. I rectified this grave injustice after returning home. I arranged a ceremony and awarded myself a first place ribbon.It was a touching moment that I’ll never forget.

Yesterday I was talking with fellow running group members, and no one has almost gotten into a fistfight while running as I have.

One winter day I was running down an arterial sidewalk and a car intentionally swerved into deep slush and threw a wall of it onto me. I flipped him off, a response I’ve long ago given up. The driver pulled over and got out of his car.

As I approached, he yelled obscenities and threatened me. I ran past, ignoring him, and he swung his coat at me. The zipper hit my face and really stung. I continued on as he yelled more obscenities. He jumped into his car and started turning around, intent on getting me.

Because I am not a fighter, I turned at the next intersection, picked up the pace, and cut through the yard of an unfenced house to the rear. I watched him drive past, fruitlessly searching for me.

This incident happened when I was in my late teens, an age when you’re more susceptible to aggressive behavior. However, another incident happened just a couple years ago.

It was dark, and I was running down a residential street, staying well to the right. As I approached an intersection, a car turning left cut the corner at a very high speed. I had to stop abruptly to avoid being hit. I stared, trying to let the driver know I was nearly struck by his reckless driving. He did not take it well.

He came to a stop perhaps 50 or 60 feet away, jumped out and cussed and yelled aggressively, daring me to come take him on. I stood there for several seconds without saying a word, listening to his taunts. The obvious solution was to just turn and resume my run, which I did.

I’ve been the recipient of several other unfriendly actions, almost all of which happened long ago. I’ve had things thrown at me a couple times that were off-target, and people have yelled at me for no apparent reason than to harass me.

The mildest and most common behavior I experience is a phrase from a well known movie. As a car passes, someone yells out, “Run, Forest, run!”

The goal of this blog, as I explain in the About page, is to transform society into one huge running group that gets around by foot and makes cars obsolete, except for a few that we’ll need for ambulances and pizza delivery.

Of course, I dabble in satire, so it’s really not a goal. However, at one time I did my best to make it a personal goal.

For several years, I lived just over a half-mile from the school I taught at. I commuted by walking and often went the entire workweek without driving a car. When I went for a run after getting home, I incorporated errands like returning videos, going to the post office, or purchasing small items at the nearby store. As long as I didn’t have to carry anything bulky or run enough distance that I’d be dripping with sweat once inside, I was happy getting things done this way.

But then I moved, and my workplace was a six-mile run away. Thus I began a seven-year stretch of running home nearly every working day after taking the bus to work.

There are some logistical problems with running home from work, like how do you get your clothes home? What if the pleasant afternoon forecast goes the opposite direction? Do you need a coat for every day of the week?

By skipping my Friday run and taking the bus, I was able to bring my clothes home. I was married at the time, and some Fridays my wife dropped me off on the way to her job and I fetched my clothes, packed up the day before, and put them in the car. As far as weather, I kept an extra layer at work in case conditions deteriorated. Just once in seven years, when an event known locally as Ice Storm brought down power lines and trees did I not run home because of weather. And yes, a coat for every day of the work week was necessary.

It was a pleasure combining my commute and run. I used to procrastinate doing my run after walking home because I wanted to relax. But when you have to run to get home, a mindset develops that cuts out procrastination. Unfortunately, my current job requires lots of driving to many different sites. But I will not become the author of the blog, I Must Drive Everywhere.

Several times during a group run, I’ve caught up to a fellow member and initiated a conversation and got no response, then I noticed they were wearing earphones or earbuds.

Many runners like listening to music while running, but I prefer to be attentive of my surroundings, especially if I’m running in a natural area. I do like music, however, when driving.

Also, I’m stuck with headphones that are so big, they’d bounce right off if I tried to run with them.

I can’t upgrade to earbuds because I’m locked into a service contract when I purchased the above pair in 1998 that still has twelve years to go. Sounds unreasonably long, but the price was very attractive for a headset that combined phone, radio, streaming music and screenless TV. (I never figured out how the screenless TV function works.)

Everyone has heard the term dumbed down, but this quiz is the opposite— smarted up. It’s only five questions, but most contestants go 0-for-5, so don’t despair if it happens to you. Good luck!

1) What is a fartlek workout?

A) A run with many obstacles that runners have to leap or crawl over.

B) A workout that happens in a dream that can take the place of your real workout.

C) A reference to passing gas made up by an immature group of high school runners in 1974.

D) A Swedish word meaning “speed play” in which a fast pace is run at intervals during a distance run.

(source: The Independent)

2) Tirunesh Dibaba of Ethiopia, pictured above, won the 2012 Olympic women’s 10,000 meters in 30:20.76. What was her pace per mile?

A) A swift 4:53.

B) Too complex to calculate.

C) Scientists are still working on it.

D) Just under eight megaticks.

E) Time is just a set of numerals and really isn’t important.

(source: MSN.com)

3) In 1976, East German Waldemar Cierpinski won the Olympic marathon, denying American Frank Shorter a 2nd straight gold medal. What issue do many think made his victory unfair?

A) At a secluded mid-race location, Cierpinski jumped in the race, taking over for twin brother Guenther.

B) Cierpinski was part of the East German program that produced championship athletes with performance enhancing drugs.

C) Inattentive finish judges mistakenly believed Cierpinski finished ahead of Shorter.

D) Your place isn’t so important. Just finishing makes everyone a winner.

4) In the 1984 Olympic women’s 3000 meters, a mid-race incident knocked favorites Zola Budd and Mary Decker-Slaney out of contention. What happened?

A) Zola Budd realized she’d lost her good luck bracelet, and Mary Decker-Slaney insisted they both stop and look for it.

B) Both competitors got wrapped up discussing training techniques and lost focus.

C) A playful Decker-Slaney tapped Budd on the shoulder while passing and said, “You’re it”. When Budd began catching up, Decker-Slaney locked herself inside a trackside port-a-potty.

D) Budd brushed Decker-Slaney, causing her to fall and not return to the race. Zola Budd intentionally slowed and finished 7th to avoid being labeled a villain.

5) Eating lots of falafel has long been a basic training strategy for Egyptian runners. How is falafel made?

A) Falafel is not made. It grows on bushes in the mountains.

B) Falafel is a by-product of oil refining.

C) Falafel sinks quickly.

D) Falafel.

 Answers: 1) D – A Swedish word meaning speed play.   2) A – 4:53 per mile.   3) B – East German program produced championship athletes using PED’s   4) D – Budd brushed Decker-Slaney, causing her to fall   5) D – Falafel

5 right – Plato, Einstein, Da Vinci, and (insert your name here).

4 right – Contact any Ivy League school. A four-year academic scholarship is yours.

3 right – Mentioning this score on your Jeopardy application will get you on the show.

2 right – Mensa considers you one of them.

1 right – Consider yourself hired if you mention this score on any job application.

0 right – Please enroll in my affordable on-line course, Ordinary to Genius in 30 Days.

It’s been nearly 15 months since the first post on I Must Run Everywhere. Since I’m part of the running community in Spokane, it had a good start and readership increased rapidly. Writing posts that involved fellow members of the running clubs I belong to helped keep interest high. However, one important factor prevents me from building a readership that would allow income-producing advertising which I’ll explain in a moment.

I go to a coffee shop to write posts. I always get the words down on paper first.

Many times I’ve received compliments about my humor. “Where do these ideas come from?” is a phrase I sometimes hear. When the ideas come, and sometimes it takes a while to happen, I often laugh and laugh and laugh. Sometimes I read old posts, and I laugh some more. I really enjoy this humor that comes to me, and that’s exactly how it is. I am not the originator of my blog post ideas. Even this one, which doesn’t have much humor, I was directed to write.

Thought presentation is how I describe this process. Thoughts are presented in a way that allows me to perceive they are from outside myself. I didn’t have this experience until about 12 or 13 years ago. Now it is constant. Not just blog ideas, but everyday thoughts come this way and continually let me know that something operates me. And, everything else as well.

And the factor holding back I Must Run Everywhere: Myself. WordPress has been a great platform for a blog, but I use the basic, free version. I do not upgrade because the basic version is simple and easy to use, though many features like how long people stay at my site, how they found it and who they are is unavailable to me.

As well, I have a fulltime job and working at making I Must Run Everywhere income-producing would consume much of my free time. Even if I didn’t have a job, I would not enjoy spending lots of time in front of a screen. Technical and software issues would also trip me up.

The only way I could make my blog a financial success is if I had a partner. Someone technically savvy and with an artistic touch.

So I continue to do my once per week posts because it’s fun, and I get a kick out of making people smile.

I think it’s common knowledge that some guys keep clothes that women would have thrown out long ago. I am one of those guys. I’m also one of those guys who’ll wear an outfit because it’s in my closet even if it was purchased in another era.

Too, I’ll sometimes wear an outfit that’s not really for running or really old.

As a 19-year-old In the above photo, my sweat top is well-worn workwear, my running tights are long johns and the hem of my old running shorts are frayed, which proves my lack of sartorial growth.

Below is a pair of shorts I bought in the late 90’s for swimming. I also wore them for cycling and as short, running trunks became not-so-stylish, I re-purposed them for running.

I’m not much of a shopper and having items on hand that are still wearable leaves me in a wardrobe rut; however, I’ve gotten a little better. I even bought a new pair of running trunks just last year.

Sometimes I see young women wearing very short, jean shorts. I’m miffed that it’s fashionably incorrect for men to do the same. When I was in my teens and early-twenties, it was common for guys to wear cut-off jeans.

I’ve decided to try bring this down-to-earth fashion sense back. I’ve created a running outfit using an old pair of jeans I cut off, and staying true to my roots, a worn shirt I used for home maintenance projects and painting the house.If you happen to see me running in this resurrected fashion tradition, give your seal of approval with a honk and a thumbs-up.

I’m becoming very agitated about women’s marathoning. There are many admirable runners out there, but there’s one area that sorely needs attention.

When the top women runners went past me as I watched the Bloomsday 12K on May 4th, I was reminded how body features are shaped by heavy distance training. Some top elite runners have physical characteristics that result in a unique appearance compared to runners who don’t run as many miles. This makes me even more angry when I think of women’s marathoning.

Elite women are using their finely tuned bodies to run times that aren’t much slower than men. Take a look at how much women have lowered the marathon world record compared to men in the last fifty years.

*                       50 years ago                                             Today

Men         Abebe Bikila/Ethiopia  2:12:12                Wilson Kipsang/Kenya 2:03:23

Women   Mildred Sampson/NZ  3:19:33                 Paula Radcliffe/UK 2:15:25

As you can see, women have improved a lot more than men, though, admittedly, fifty years ago women’s marathon participation was not nearly at the level of men.

This leads to what I’m so very sorely upset about. Paula Radcliffe set the women’s record in 2003. The men’s record was set less than a year ago, and has been broken five times since Paula Radcliffe set her mark.

Why no new record in more than eleven years? I’ll tell you why. Woman marathoners are saying pish-posh to the idea of extra training to break the record. This lolly-gagging and dilly-dallying needs to stop. From now on, no more wine parties, and no more grouping up with your peeps and having chatfests. Forget shopping, and going out for your oh-so-precious frozen yogurt. This whole issue has been bothering me for quite a while. I’m irked the moment I wake up in the morning. I am so extremely very intensely angry right now that I can’t even focus on writing. I need to smack my pillow against the wall.

I would like to see this issue dealt with and resolved. My anger management counselor is getting burned out by all the attention he has to give me.

I’m normally a calm, mild-mannered person, but at this year’s Bloomsday 12K race, an incident on the race course enraged me.

I’ve become friends with Jim Dietz, pictured above, through the Flying Irish Running Club, of which he’s an original member. I’ve attended many events and get-togethers with Jim over the years. He runs a business just north of Spokane called Dietz Christmas Tree Farm.

Unable to run because of an injury, I watched Bloomsday while taking photos of my running club co-members. When Jim came into view, I noticed several things he should be doing to run faster, so I yelled, “Lift your knees, Jim! Don’t swing your arms so much! Lean into the wind! Pass that guy in front of you! Put your shoulders back!”

I yelled more things but can’t remember them all. However, when Jim went by, he showed what he thought about all my helpful suggestions.

When I try to help someone, and they do something like this, I get really, really mad.

I couldn’t get the incident out of my mind. I was seething all day.

By evening I decided to take a drive out to Jim’s farm. A bunch of trees were not going to be around for Christmas.

As I was driving, I got a call from Jim. He told me how fun Bloomsday had been and apologized for not hearing a word I said. He plugged his ears because he’s sensitive to loud music.

It’s a Bloomsday tradition that bands play at several spots along the course. One was playing right by me, and they were pretty loud.

I gave up my tree-cutting plot, and at the Flying Irish’s next club meeting, it was like nothing had happened. Jim and I were good friends once again.

Whenever I travel, my runs tend to be more interesting and longer as I explore a new area. However, there’s one place I’ve never run—outer space. I thought it wasn’t possible until now.

With advances in technology and several new space travel firms offering trips, the unthinkable’s become real. I found out SpaceX will soon offer packages for runners who want to workout in the perfect vacuum of space.

Plenty of astronauts have gone on space walks, so going for a run isn’t much of a stretch. Thanks to a newly developed system that creates a gravitation field around the ship to keep objects from floating away, runners will be able to go outside untethered and put in some quality miles.

With just a slight shove out the hatch and by going through the motions of running, space runners can cover great distances in a really fast time.

I talked to Tanisha Harrison, a SpaceX astronaut who has done testing in orbit. She says she’s had some great workouts.

“My first time I was able to run 30 miles in just under an hour. I was very happy, but felt I could go faster. The next day, I really gutted it out and covered 47 miles in almost the same time!”

When I asked if going through the motion of running while floating in space can make you go faster, she said that’s what it’s all about. However, she admitted asking for a stronger push out the hatch on her second space run.

When I remarked that I wouldn’t need to pack my running shoes, Tanisha said to the contrary, specialized apparel is necessary for space runners, including shoes that increase “traction” during interstellar workouts. A wind breaker for solar wind is required, as is outer space sunscreen. Another important accessory is a bright, high-visibility cape to prevent runner/UFO collisions.

Tanisha also says plans are in the works for the first outer space fun run, A space-based marathon is also on the drawing board. If all goes well, SpaceX plans to organized an ultra-distance run from near earth orbit to the moon.