Trash your goals. Here are your new ones.

If you made goals for running in 2018, toss them. If you’re failing miserably or on pace, it doesn’t matter. I have better ones for you.

Nearly all runners fail to make their goals running-based, which means using the letters that compose the word running. Since that’s 7 letters, that means 7 goals. They’re listed below, and I want you to start working on them immediately.

1. Roar 2. Unglued 3. Never again 4. Numbers 5. Incredible 6. Never mind 7. Geeky

1 Roar – If you win a race, your age-group or run a good time, celebrate your success by really letting loose.

2 Unglued – If you fall during a race or run, and your running buddies keep going, putting their finish times ahead of your well-being, you’re justified becoming unglued. After your hospital stay, when your eyes land on those running shoes that flashed past as you lay on the ground bleeding, lay into them.

3 Numbers Don’t Lie – When it’s obvious you forgot to stop your GPS unit and continued to rack up miles after your run, your inflated total is the official total.

4 No Way – Your answer when asked to do the relay leg that’s the longest, all uphill, passes through grizzly habitat, and was where last year’s runner was last seen.

5 Incredible – All you need to say when someone asks how you did in a race.

6 Never Mind – Do you need 3 running goals that start with N? No you don’t, so never mind.

7 Geeky – We’re all worried about looking cool when we dress to run. Undo the padlock and let your geekiness stumble out.