I thought I’d have a pleasant outing in the woods last Sunday picking huckleberries, but there are some very rude people out there.

This year’s crop of huckleberries is very good.

Because I must run everywhere, I ran from my house to Mt. Spokane, a forty-six mile round trip. Huckleberries, a type of blueberry, grow mostly at high elevation around here. They are delicious and very healthy. I eat plenty fresh and freeze lots for year round eating. Though quite common, they resist domestication and must be picked wild.

There are a lot of huckleberry aficionados, and easy-to-reach patches are heavily picked. I know of an excellent patch on Mt. Spokane that requires some hiking. I’ve been going there for years, and I’ve never seen another picker.

I use a couple milk jugs with the top cut off and when attached to my belt, it frees both hands for picking. As you can see, it was a decent harvest.

I gave myself several pats on the back for coming up with the idea of running home with the containers placed at my hips. Carrying the extra weight will really increase my leg muscle mass.

However, so many people passing by in cars laughed at me. One guy yelled, “Run faster, huckleberry boy!” Oh, I got extremely angry.

I shook my fist at the mean driver who called me huckleberry boy. I don’t like that.

One driver honked his horn, and I waved, thinking it was someone I knew. But no, he laughed and yelled, “Wash up, huckleberry hands.”

Besides purple hands. I usually have purple lips, cheeks and chin too.

Then a problem developed. I glanced behind, and on the road was a trail of huckleberries as far as the eye could see. My berries were bouncing out.

However, I solutioned this issue very brilliantly. If I ran home in only half the time as my normal pace, only half as many berries will bounce out. So what to do was obvious:

Extreme Speedrunning!

Unfortunately, when I arrived home, there were so few berries left. The huckleberry bounce rate increased during my extreme speedrunning.

I became incensed about the wastiture of precious huckleberries. I was seething for hours, and not being able to get hold of my anger management counselor didn’t help either. As I often do, I vented my anger by slamming a pillow against the wall.

So, next week I’ll have to make another trip to Mt. Spokane – by car, which actually is how I got there today. I didn’t really run to Mt Spokane and back. 🙂

I was a high school senior when I walked into the kitchen as my mother prepared breakfast on May 30th,1975. On the radio was news of the death of America’s top track and field distance runner – Steve Prefontaine.

This poster I purchased forty years ago is pinned to a wall in my basement.

He was only twenty-four years old, and I was truly struck by his death in a one-car accident in Eugene, Oregon. I couldn’t help thinking how such a talented, charismatic runner was going from setting records to being buried in the ground.

He was a young college student when I watched him on TV challenging for the lead with a half lap to go in the 1972 Olympic 5000 meters, only to get edged for a medal by the older, more experienced favorites.

When I was in high school, before Pre’s death, a teacher assigned a collage project which I have little memory of. Among the hundreds of magazines we had for cutting out photos, I came across a 1971 Sports Illustrated with Pre on the cover. I pilfered it, and after reading it over and over, I eventually boxed it and put it in my closet with other mementos where it sat for years.

Because Pre is the track and field equivalent of movie-star James Dean, his untimely death has made this edition valuable. I only recently discovered that ones in excellent condition can sell for up to $500.

I saw Pre but once in-person – when he won the NCAA cross-country championship that was held in Spokane in 1973.

Most people when out in public want to look good, even while running. This can include not only the way you dress, but how fast you’re going.

A slow warm-up is a good way to start a run, but it doesn’t impress.

Women are especially good at choosing outfits that are attractive and eye-catching. Some guys also have an eye for fashion, but for the most part, we guys don’t make it a priority.

I often run in the evening, therefore, I wouldn’t impress many people if I wore a stylish outfit. However, the long days of summer allow me to get in a run after work when there’s still light. I get the notion sometimes to pick up the pace if there are people ahead. I think a runner looks good running at a brisk pace.

A group of women ahead, and I’m ready to impress. Estimated pace per mile: 5:15-5:20.

However, if I maintain a brisk pace too long, I’ll have a price to pay.

Good thing no one is around on this side street. Estimated pace per mile: 20 min.

In some situations where I run a really fast pace for too long, I experience total collapse.

When I really overdo it in these situations, I’m reduced to walking on my hands and knees.

Since this has happened several times, I carry a medium-sized swatch of fabric in my running shorts pocket. Yes, it’s a strange sight, and embarrassing, but at least people can’t see who I am as I crawl home.

When you see another runner approaching, what options are there for acknowledging him or her, or should you even acknowledge? You may think this is a trivial issue, however it’s vitally important.

A runner who looks like they don’t want to be bothered, or is focusing on a fast pace obviously should not be greeted. For all others, there are several greeting styles available.

A friendly nod is often the best way to go.

If you’re running in a rural area where cowboy values hold true, a tip of the hat and a friendly “Howdy” will earn you points.

If you cross paths with that runner who sprinted madly past you at the very end of last week’s 5K race and knocked you out of an age-group award, this is appropriate.

Some runners out there are just so friendly, smiley, and nice that you absolutely have to reciprocate.

If you happen to run through a neighborhood where gangs rule, random finger positioning like below will show that you’re one of them.

If you happen to cross paths with a very beautiful woman, don’t be shy or subdued. Show her how you feel.

It’s been three months since I suffered a stress fracture in my foot. I’m still waiting for it to completely heal, but when it does, to celebrate, I’d like Petra to join me on my first run.

I wrote in an earlier post about how Petra and I negotiated having a relationship that I described as intense realism, which means being a couple and being fluffy with others.

This blend of wandering and staying put can be an exciting lifestyle, but it’ll only work if the couple has a great love for one another, a recognition that wandering reduces the possibility of a relationship becoming stale, and a priority for each other which exceeds that for the fluffees.

However, instead of intense realism, my daily routine remains the same. Besides my job, a lot of my time consists of:

Working in my garden. It takes up about two-thirds of my backyard.

Going to a coffeeshop to work on the next I Must Run Everywhere post.

Making my daily dinner – salad with ingredients from my garden, and harvesting, chopping and freezing produce for winter use.

This is okay because I rather enjoy my daily life, however, intense realism would be more fulfilling, and I need to get on the stick.

After Petra and I discussed what kind of relationship we’d like, she wanted a little more time being unattached as her breakup with Byron left a bad taste in her mouth.

It’s been a few months now, and Petra has commented a couple of times lately about getting started, yet inertia has a grip on me. I’ve decided it’s time to act.

I know that bachelor pads are infamous for their clutter and filth, and even though I keep a neat place, I really want to impress Petra. So, I’ve been knocking myself out raising the cleanliness level from good to outstanding.

I scrubbed for hours, and the oven sparkles. An outstanding performance that deserves a medal.

I used a toothbrush to scrub the floor and clean the toilet. Then I absent-mindedly brushed my teeth with it.

How’s this for multi-tasking. I’m dusting a tabletop and the floor at the same time.

Petra, I invite you to come over. Start me up, and I’ll start you up.

Left side or right side? You get to choose. You’ll catch the scent of a mountain meadow bursting with wildflowers amid notes of tangy citrus and a hint of pine.

In mid-June, I attended a wedding on the shore of Priest Lake in North Idaho. The dearly betrothed, Jill Heuer Gilson and Eric Cameron, are active in the same running clubs as myself, which is how they got to know one another.

The wedding was attended by a contingent of fellow running club members, and many assisted in preparations. I was asked to set up chairs for the outdoor ceremony, but I wanted to hike a lakeside trail first.

I spent a lot time chasing squirrels and putting wildflowers in my hair.

When I returned, I still had ten minutes before the wedding started to set up the chairs, but someone else had done it.

I was very angry and vented by throwing large rocks into the water during the ceremony.

There was a wedding morning 4-mile race I’d planned to run but couldn’t because of a stress fracture that has not fully healed.

Nick Freese and Eric Cameron, the top two male finishers of the 4-mile race, pose with Jill.

Amazingly, the night before the race, I had an athletivision. This is a term for a dream in which you win a competition that you were prevented from entering.  Neuroscientists believe events depicted in an athletivision are highly accurate.

Yet when I informed Nick, the winner, and Eric, the 2nd place finisher, that they were being bumped down a place, and I was the true winner because of my athletivision, they had problems doing the right thing.

Nick Freese: “Whatever, Jim”

Eric Cameron: “Jim, I had to set up the chairs for my own wedding.”

It’s a travesty I was not awarded first place. I rectified this grave injustice after returning home. I arranged a ceremony and awarded myself a first place ribbon.It was a touching moment that I’ll never forget.

Yesterday I was talking with fellow running group members, and no one has almost gotten into a fistfight while running as I have.

One winter day I was running down an arterial sidewalk and a car intentionally swerved into deep slush and threw a wall of it onto me. I flipped him off, a response I’ve long ago given up. The driver pulled over and got out of his car.

As I approached, he yelled obscenities and threatened me. I ran past, ignoring him, and he swung his coat at me. The zipper hit my face and really stung. I continued on as he yelled more obscenities. He jumped into his car and started turning around, intent on getting me.

Because I am not a fighter, I turned at the next intersection, picked up the pace, and cut through the yard of an unfenced house to the rear. I watched him drive past, fruitlessly searching for me.

This incident happened when I was in my late teens, an age when you’re more susceptible to aggressive behavior. However, another incident happened just a couple years ago.

It was dark, and I was running down a residential street, staying well to the right. As I approached an intersection, a car turning left cut the corner at a very high speed. I had to stop abruptly to avoid being hit. I stared, trying to let the driver know I was nearly struck by his reckless driving. He did not take it well.

He came to a stop perhaps 50 or 60 feet away, jumped out and cussed and yelled aggressively, daring me to come take him on. I stood there for several seconds without saying a word, listening to his taunts. The obvious solution was to just turn and resume my run, which I did.

I’ve been the recipient of several other unfriendly actions, almost all of which happened long ago. I’ve had things thrown at me a couple times that were off-target, and people have yelled at me for no apparent reason than to harass me.

The mildest and most common behavior I experience is a phrase from a well known movie. As a car passes, someone yells out, “Run, Forest, run!”

The goal of this blog, as I explain in the About page, is to transform society into one huge running group that gets around by foot and makes cars obsolete, except for a few that we’ll need for ambulances and pizza delivery.

Of course, I dabble in satire, so it’s really not a goal. However, at one time I did my best to make it a personal goal.

For several years, I lived just over a half-mile from the school I taught at. I commuted by walking and often went the entire workweek without driving a car. When I went for a run after getting home, I incorporated errands like returning videos, going to the post office, or purchasing small items at the nearby store. As long as I didn’t have to carry anything bulky or run enough distance that I’d be dripping with sweat once inside, I was happy getting things done this way.

But then I moved, and my workplace was a six-mile run away. Thus I began a seven-year stretch of running home nearly every working day after taking the bus to work.

There are some logistical problems with running home from work, like how do you get your clothes home? What if the pleasant afternoon forecast goes the opposite direction? Do you need a coat for every day of the week?

By skipping my Friday run and taking the bus, I was able to bring my clothes home. I was married at the time, and some Fridays my wife dropped me off on the way to her job and I fetched my clothes, packed up the day before, and put them in the car. As far as weather, I kept an extra layer at work in case conditions deteriorated. Just once in seven years, when an event known locally as Ice Storm brought down power lines and trees did I not run home because of weather. And yes, a coat for every day of the work week was necessary.

It was a pleasure combining my commute and run. I used to procrastinate doing my run after walking home because I wanted to relax. But when you have to run to get home, a mindset develops that cuts out procrastination. Unfortunately, my current job requires lots of driving to many different sites. But I will not become the author of the blog, I Must Drive Everywhere.

Several times during a group run, I’ve caught up to a fellow member and initiated a conversation and got no response, then I noticed they were wearing earphones or earbuds.

Many runners like listening to music while running, but I prefer to be attentive of my surroundings, especially if I’m running in a natural area. I do like music, however, when driving.

Also, I’m stuck with headphones that are so big, they’d bounce right off if I tried to run with them.

I can’t upgrade to earbuds because I’m locked into a service contract when I purchased the above pair in 1998 that still has twelve years to go. Sounds unreasonably long, but the price was very attractive for a headset that combined phone, radio, streaming music and screenless TV. (I never figured out how the screenless TV function works.)

Everyone has heard the term dumbed down, but this quiz is the opposite— smarted up. It’s only five questions, but most contestants go 0-for-5, so don’t despair if it happens to you. Good luck!

1) What is a fartlek workout?

A) A run with many obstacles that runners have to leap or crawl over.

B) A workout that happens in a dream that can take the place of your real workout.

C) A reference to passing gas made up by an immature group of high school runners in 1974.

D) A Swedish word meaning “speed play” in which a fast pace is run at intervals during a distance run.

(source: The Independent)

2) Tirunesh Dibaba of Ethiopia, pictured above, won the 2012 Olympic women’s 10,000 meters in 30:20.76. What was her pace per mile?

A) A swift 4:53.

B) Too complex to calculate.

C) Scientists are still working on it.

D) Just under eight megaticks.

E) Time is just a set of numerals and really isn’t important.

(source: MSN.com)

3) In 1976, East German Waldemar Cierpinski won the Olympic marathon, denying American Frank Shorter a 2nd straight gold medal. What issue do many think made his victory unfair?

A) At a secluded mid-race location, Cierpinski jumped in the race, taking over for twin brother Guenther.

B) Cierpinski was part of the East German program that produced championship athletes with performance enhancing drugs.

C) Inattentive finish judges mistakenly believed Cierpinski finished ahead of Shorter.

D) Your place isn’t so important. Just finishing makes everyone a winner.

4) In the 1984 Olympic women’s 3000 meters, a mid-race incident knocked favorites Zola Budd and Mary Decker-Slaney out of contention. What happened?

A) Zola Budd realized she’d lost her good luck bracelet, and Mary Decker-Slaney insisted they both stop and look for it.

B) Both competitors got wrapped up discussing training techniques and lost focus.

C) A playful Decker-Slaney tapped Budd on the shoulder while passing and said, “You’re it”. When Budd began catching up, Decker-Slaney locked herself inside a trackside port-a-potty.

D) Budd brushed Decker-Slaney, causing her to fall and not return to the race. Zola Budd intentionally slowed and finished 7th to avoid being labeled a villain.

5) Eating lots of falafel has long been a basic training strategy for Egyptian runners. How is falafel made?

A) Falafel is not made. It grows on bushes in the mountains.

B) Falafel is a by-product of oil refining.

C) Falafel sinks quickly.

D) Falafel.

 Answers: 1) D – A Swedish word meaning speed play.   2) A – 4:53 per mile.   3) B – East German program produced championship athletes using PED’s   4) D – Budd brushed Decker-Slaney, causing her to fall   5) D – Falafel

5 right – Plato, Einstein, Da Vinci, and (insert your name here).

4 right – Contact any Ivy League school. A four-year academic scholarship is yours.

3 right – Mentioning this score on your Jeopardy application will get you on the show.

2 right – Mensa considers you one of them.

1 right – Consider yourself hired if you mention this score on any job application.

0 right – Please enroll in my affordable on-line course, Ordinary to Genius in 30 Days.