Saying good-by to Petra

Posted on September 28, 2014 by Jim Johnson

Petra is leaving. Spokane will no longer be her home, and she’ll be very,very far from here.

I’m bummed because of Petra’s new job on the East Coast.

Last time I wrote about Petra, we were about to enter into a relationship and start a lifestyle I call intense realism, in which we’re a couple, yet are fluffy with others.

But Petra was offered a job at the National Institute of Running Sciences in Washington DC. Besides being a good runner, she has a lot of business acumen. Her job title will be director of corporate relations. It’s an excellent opportunity and excellent pay. Plus, any time of day she and co-workers can have elevator vs. stairs races in the multi-story Institute building.

I’m happy for Petra, yet it’s not welcome news. I cannot walk past the photo of her on my dresser top without getting really sad. I had to lay it down to stay functional.

Petra has a couple weeks before she has to leave, so I’ll still see her, but it won’t be the same.

She tells me she can arrange flying into town almost monthly, but I’m doubtful how successful a long-distance relationship can be.

To occupy my time and get over her after she leaves, I’ve got a project planned that’ll take the entire fall season to complete.

I’m making a hiking shell out of cayenne peppers. I’ve got tons of ’em in my garden, and I won’t have to buy bear spray anymore.

Running lingo quiz

Posted on September 21, 2014 by Jim Johnson

Welcome to Race to Win. I’m your host, Sprint McDowell. We have a great show lined up, and you can win big money.First of all, I’d like to thank everyone watching here at the studio. We have a packed house today.

Keep track of your choices. Answers are given at the end. Let’s begin the competition!

1) Term for being beaten by a girl in a race.

A) I took a gender hit.
B) I got ponytailed.
C) I got chicked.
D) Sports bra 1; jockstrap 0

I like the responses to that question. People know their running lingo. I see some prize money coming your way!Let’s see how you do on question number two.

2) Common phrase for a runner slowing way down and finishing poorly.

A) My legs got fried like chicken.
B) I died.
C) I wasted my pace in the middle of the race.
D) When I tried turning it on, there was no switch.

Another great response there! Did you know Race to Win has been the No. 1-rated running game show for the past five years? In my book, our contestants are No. 1 also.

Let’s move on to question number three.

3) Term for a strategy where you stay behind the leaders before making your move late in the race.

A) Hang back.
B) Hang out.
C) Run incognito.
D) The sneaky grim reaper.

Oh, our studio audience is really getting into today’s contest. I hear a group chanting someone’s name. A couple banners are being waved. That’s nice!

Okay, next question.

4) Term for the item pictured below that runners wear at races.

A) Number thingy.
B) Post-race hook-up referral number.
C) Covert race security tracking number.
D) Race bib.

Let’s take a break. I’d like to get to know you, the contestant. Tell me about yourself. Have you had any good races lately? How’s your training going? Just speak at the photo of me below which activates an app that collects your words and delivers it to me real time.

Okay, thanks. Only two questions left, but it’s the toughest part of our quiz, Double Race to Win. Good luck!

5) Evan, a highly-rated US ultra runner, said, “I signed up for trash, but I cleaned like polish”, after running a 50-miler. What does this mean?

A) He ran into a tree.
B) He picked up litter while running.
C) He fought off a bear.
D) Profuse sweating rinsed away trail dust on his legs.

Our studio audience is loving it. They’re on their feet screaming. But I know that can be a distraction. Hold on just a moment while I quiet things down.
Okay, that’s better. Here we go, our final question.

6) Courtney, a very talented and artistic Canadian marathoner, said of her upcoming race, “I got my ducks in a line like cocky soldiers.” What does she mean?

A) There’s no stopping her sprint to the victory podium.
B) She’ll smash the course record.
C) No one, man or woman, will come close to beating her.
D) All of the above.

And here’s the answers:

1) C – I got chicked
2) B – I died
3) A – Hang back
4) D – Race bib
5) C – Profuse sweating rinsed away trail dust on his legs.
6) D – All of the above

If you got all questions right, you’re a winner of $100 – great work! I salute you. If you got only 1 wrong, you’ve got $75 coming your way! And if you missed 2, you have won $50! Getting 3 or more wrong means you miss out on prize money, however, just for participating, you get $2. It always pays to play Race to Win!

This has been so exciting. We’re taking a hit because so much cash was won, but that’s why we have generous sponsors. To claim your earnings, register your score at Racetowin.com, then download the app Cash for Me. Tap the envelope below on your mobile screen, and a slot will form, dispensing your well-earned money.

I’m your host of Race to Win, Sprint McDowell. Until next time, keep on running and keep on winning! Bye!

My daily stress

Posted on September 14, 2014 by Jim Johnson

In a previous post, I explained how I am not the source of ideas for this blog. In a process I call thought presentation, ideas come in a way that allows me to perceive that I do not originate them.

I’ve been directed to cover several key points, the most important of which is in the last paragraph. It’s possible you’ll find yourself unwillingly involved. If you wish to avoid the experience of thought presentation and the challenges that come with it, you should not read the last paragraph.

When a disincarnate mentor began communicating with me using thought presentation, I was thrilled. I previously experimented, studied, and read about non-religious, spiritual topics for many years. I believed a non-physical realm controlled everything in our physical world.

My mentor has given me details about my future role which includes experiences in a non-physical realm, and having the ability to help others in a way that is immediate and dramatic.

But to attain this, I’m required to go through a period of preparation, an important aspect of which is sexual in nature. I’m also required to do things that are unhealthful, unenjoyable, and not something I’d ever do on my own.

I’ve had many unpleasant experiences that left me with a bad feeling. I find myself dismayed and sometimes humiliated doing things that are required. As well, attracting a significant other would be problematic considering the situation I’m in. I haven’t been in a relationship since I divorced more than thirteen years ago.

This preparation period has been ongoing far longer than I thought. Many times I’ve wished I could go back to being like everyone else. However, it’s been made clear that I will not be released. I am stuck, and I don’t know when or if this preparation period will ever end.

Not everything is unpleasant. I’ve made many acquaintances by being active in several Spokane running groups. I’m required to go out on the town often, nearly always alone (and to return home alone), which can be enjoyable. My discarnate mentor communicates with me constantly, and I’m often entertained by the comments and observations it makes. Many times I’ve had to stifle laughter because I’m out in public alone and there’s no apparent reason for me to be laughing my head off. This keeps me in a good mood (mostly).

Though I don’t mind talking about my experiences, I’m reluctant to go into detail because I haven’t realized the benefits that would justify my behavior. I’ve had to do bewildering things that would make people question my judgement.

Now, if you don’t wish to experience the unpleasantries that can come with being communicated to, don’t read the below paragraph.

Though I know that all my thoughts originate from my discarnate mentor (and it’s the same for everyone else, as well), this fact is difficult to believe without the experience of thought presentation. However, many readers of this post will begin experiencing it, courtesy of a vast, multi-dimensional “being”.

Wine and running

Posted on September 7, 2014 by Jim Johnson

Some runners, especially women, like to drink wine. This is a big mistake. I consider drinking wine similar to drinking poison.

Runners need frequent fluid replacement. Wine is a poor choice. Though resveratrol and other antioxidants in wine are supposedly good for you, they have a negative impact on running. For those who foolishly choose to drink wine, it should be done only for that rare quiet and romantic moment.

Recently I received a bottle of wine as a gift. I put it in my cupboard, intending to dispose of it first chance I got.

Several days later, It occurred to me I’d forgotten to throw it out. When I took it from the cupboard, I noticed it was cabernet sauvignon, which is such a beautiful word. It’s no wonder French is known as the language of romantics.As I reached for the garbage, my arm brushed a hanging unit that holds pans and utensils. A wine opener fell to the floor.

I didn’t know I had a wine opener, but since I never use it, I must have forgot. Was this a sign? I uncorked the bottle and took a sip.It actually wasn’t too bad. With each sip, it tasted better. So I had a glass, then another. Next thing I knew, the bottle was empty.

I didn’t want my good feeling to end, so I went to the store and bought another.After a couple more glasses, I really wanted a woman to come over and enjoy wine with me. It was awfully late to call someone though. However, thanks to a stroke of ingeniousness, a hot woman was soon at my table.I changed into a nicer outfit and splashed on some cologne. She really liked my wine, and our conversation was so stimulating and romantic.We looked deep into each other’s eyes. I was so taken by her beauty and her charming femininity. I told her that her long, slender, Audrey Hepburn-like neck was so beautiful.

Soon we were toasting to a great evening and great company.

When it was time to bring the evening to a close, I laid down, whispering, “Good night, my precious love doll.”

Hawaii: Run or swim with the sea turtles

Posted on September 2, 2014 by Jim Johnson

I needed a pause in my running, a break from the training grind, so I arranged a trip to the Kona Coast in Hawaii. A friend pointed out that I’ve been injured and haven’t run in weeks. I totally forgot about that.

Besides the wildlife, plants in Hawaii are so unlike what we have in Spokane.

Ruby Redpepper, owner of Animal Fulfillment Specialists, was doing a seminar about Hawaiian wildlife. I hired Ruby a few months ago as a consultant when I released indigenous, wild animals into my naturally landscaped front yard. She knows so much about animals, and I really, really like animals. I wasn’t about to miss this seminar.

We spent the first day in the classroom learning about island wildlife.

Ruby is second from left, listening to a participant describe how dolphins came onto the beach to lay in the sun with him.

Ruby sips water while listening to a participant describe how dolphins crawled onto a beach to lay in the sun with him.

During our first excursion I put my head in the water and did sea turtle calls like Ruby taught us. After a half hour without any luck, I fell on a sea urchin in a tidal pool. It took fellow group members fifteen minutes to pull out all the spines.

Then Ruby tried and right away a turtle came.Ruby has such a way with animals that it tried crawling out of the water and into her lap. But Ruby says it’s important not to touch the sea turtles.Whenever I approached the turtle, it swam away quickly. I grabbed a rock, but Ruby calmed me down. I like sea turtles, but not when they’re uncooperative. Ruby talked in a kind and gentle voice and persuaded the turtle to approach me.Geckos are everywhere in Hawaii. You’ll find them in some stores and homes roaming freely. They eat bugs that get inside.The gecko below lives in the house that I rented. If you get close, they scurry or jump away very quickly.I saw a pretty bird in a tree so I climbed up to get a picture. Ruby said there was no way that would happen, but I might see a chameleon. Sure enough, I did, and I got a close-up picture.