Lately I’ve been working on technology improvements to this blog. Now, I’m ready to upgrade so I can bring you the latest in running news, information, and updates.

I’ve developed a new big-screen smartphone. This will ease eye-strain, and allow you to really see the details in photos that I post. You can expect to see them in stores starting next month.

My new big screen smartphone will bring internet images to life!

I’ve decided to roll out my own social media platforms. I started a new social interaction network called Face Notes. It will begin showing up on your smartphones and laptops soon. You’ll find that FN works much better than FB.

You can subscribe to my Twicker network. Similar to Twitter, Twicker gives you real-time updates that are real. I’ll be sending out Twicks with running news several times a day. However, I’d like to make a statement: I’m very disappointed by a few comments about my new technology. I have little patience for the Elmer Fudd references like, “Hey, Jim, is this a twick?” or “”Are you a twick or tweeter?” I will become unglued if I hear one more such comment.

To deliver these new social media, I had to put in infrastructure. Since I’m a sustainable, low-carbon footprint, eco-friendly kind of guy, I’m installing my equipment into wind turbines.

Crews installing my network infrastructure at a wind farm in Eastern Washington.

Sorry there’s so little running news in this blog post, but I’ll get back to it next time. Meanwhile, I want you to know…

Everything I do, I do for you, baby!

And, I’ll keep you updated on these new technological advances in a future post.

I’ve called my friends at the National Institute of Running Sciences lots of times seeking information about unusual topics. Turns out nearly every time, they’ve done a study or survey about it. The other day I had yet another request.

Many of my fellow running club members are trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon. It made me wonder what percentage of runners make qualifying for Boston a goal. Though Dr. Ayer O’Beck is the Chief of Running Research, I called I.P. Aard because she’s very pretty, and she visited me a few weeks ago.

Runners at the Boston Marathon Wait for the Starting Gun

“Jim, you squirt of honey! How are you?”

With a greeting like that, anyone can see why I like I.P. Aard so much. However, when I inquired about Boston, she told me I had to pay for the information.

“Jim, all the research we do costs tons of money, and you’ve called so many times and gotten information for free. The board made a decision to start charging you.”

I was devastated. I thought I was like family. I didn’t know what to say, “Umm…..okay. I……I understand.”

“Sweet thing, I was joking. We’d never do that to you. I’m sorry.”

I was so relieved. I should’ve known I.P. was joking, though. She fooled me and that rarely happens, so she he gets a kudo. She supplied me with the info I requested — 19% of all runners make a goal of qualifying for Boston at some point.

“Hope to hear from you again, very soon,” I.P. said. “You make my day when you call.”

“Thank-you, I.P. Talking to you is the highlight of my day,” I said.

Now, a contest: The photo caption says it’s the Boston Marathon. It isn’t. I blurrified the photo so it’d be hard to blow up and read the race bibs. If you leave a comment correctly identifying which marathon it is, you win a prize. Even if you have no idea looking at the photo, if you’ve read a recent Post, you might figure it out.

As I’ve mentioned before, I usually run with the Manito Runners Club on Saturday mornings. Afterwards, we have coffee at the Rockwood Bakery. An incident occurred that disturbed me because I thought I could trust my fellow club members.

I set my order on the table and used the bathroom. When I returned, someone had helped themselves to my food. “Okay, very funny,” I said. “Who ate my coffee cake?”

Eating this delicious treat was surely going to be the highlight of my day.

Instead, I found a tragic and barbaric situation when I returned to my table.

Everyone nearby claimed they didn’t eat my coffee cake, nor saw who did. I was about to get another piece when Petra sat across from me. I was instantly happy.

“How was your run today, Jim?”

“It went well, Petra. I felt pretty good. Unfortunately, things have gone downhill. Someone ate my coffee cake.”

“That’s so, so sad, Jim.” She reached under the table and set my coffee cake in front of me. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist playing a joke on you.”

I was happy to get my coffee cake back, but even happier that Petra had done it. She was seated across from me now. We got into a long conversation about relationships. She and her boyfriend Byron have been together two years. When I asked if they had marriage plans, she looked away and sighed.

“Byron is picking me up in a few minutes. We’re going to a friend’s house for a barbecue, and I know we’ll have fun. But last night we got into a long discussion that wasn’t fun. One day we’re a perfect couple and then another day I wish I was unattached. Our relationship is an emotional roller coaster.”

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

It was Byron. Neither of us saw him come in. “Roller coasters,” I blurted.

Byron said Colossus at Six Flags Magic Mountain in California is the best roller coaster ever. We shared a few more roller coaster stories before they had to leave.

I sipped the last of my coffee and pondered my conversation with Petra. Maybe I have a chance with her.

I recently read in a scientific journal that theoretically, runners using too many gadgets could cause a meshing of the electrical fields with that of the human body, leading to a separate consciousness forming and taking over.

Theory has become reality. Amy Smet DePaolo, a runner living in Spokane, Washington, has become the first known victim. On an evening run, she had a smart phone on one arm, a heart rate monitor on the other, an ipod, two GPS units on her wrist, and a head lamp.

Amy Smet DePaolo Before Takeover

By week’s end, a doctor’s visit confirmed what her family was seeing. Amy was becoming a multi-purpose, electrical device made of human tissue. Her eyes were changing into a digital scanner. Her internal organs were morphing into a motherboard. Two fingers were forming into prongs to plug into outlets.

When she overheard her family planning to short her out to stop the conversion, she fled. Her husband, Toby, now raising their young son alone, tearfully says attempts to get her back have failed.

“She’s too sophisticated. She’s very adept at getting around because her internal bio-GPS unit is amazing. She downloads real-time satellite imagery constantly, so she always knows who’s nearby. “

Toby sees little chance he’ll ever get the old Amy back. However, he’s investigating having his own conversion. “I’m sure Amy would come around if I became a bio-electrical unit too. If I could turn digital and be managed by AI software, oh, how our circuits would hum.”