Status Upgrade: I’m at Dog Level

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In my last post, I mentioned how I saw the most beautiful woman running in my neighborhood. As I was doing an eight-miler yesterday, I hoped we’d cross paths.

At the intersection where I’d seen her, I saw a woman in the distance running the opposite direction from me. I studied her, not sure if she was the one. I thought of breaking into a sprint, but her pace looked pretty decent. It’d be hard to catch her.

A minute later she turned. I couldn’t even tell what street she’d taken. I was saddened. Maybe I missed the only chance I’d get.

I resumed my run, regretting I didn’t run after her the moment I saw her.

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I passed a fenced, two-story house. A dog that always aggressively barks and charges at me had gotten out. With no fence between us, the dog put its tail between its legs and ran. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

I chased him down alleys, through yards, across streets, zig-zagging from one side to the other, I was relentless. Whenever he put more gap between us, I really pushed to close it. I was getting a great speed workout.

After a mile and a half he gave up and cowered in someone’s front yard. I jumped on him.

We wrestled until I noticed the homeowner staring out the window. Dog and I cooled it and began jogging back to his house. We were friends now.

Now whenever I go past, he’s friendly and excited to see me.

 

 

Zombies vs. Runners

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If you’re running alone, especially at night, it’s natural to worry about a zombie attack. They’re always trying to improve their stats, grow their population base, and convert us to their way of living.

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Occasionally I feel vulnerable to a zombie attack, but fortunately runners have a big advantage. We can run. Even though some movies portray them as being fast and agile, they’re not. If you’ve ever taken the time to sit in a cemetery all night long and watch, when zombies come out of the ground (some can’t even do that) they’re permanently stiff and slow. The fastest they can go is a medium walk, and they can hardly bend their legs and arms. Almost anyone can outwrestle a zombie. However, they become a threat by grouping up.

I worry about this as I run because one of their favorite tactics is to hide behind parked cars, or on the other side of the corner you’re about to go around. I always try to keep space between myself and places they could be hiding.

I got a big scare the other day while running through my neighborhood. I was thinking about zombies when I heard footsteps behind me.

I turned around, and it wasn’t a zombie. It was a woman, running through the intersection I’d just gone through. She was tall, dark-haired, wearing a form-fitting dark blue outfit and a white cap. Her ponytail bounced as she ran.

I stared until she passed by. I ran back to the intersection and watched. Her form was so efficient, her thighs so long and beautifully shaped. I couldn’t believe how taken I was. This woman…she was the most beautiful flower in the whole shop.

I looked at my watch. I checked the intersection. It was a Tuesday. I had to write this down as soon as I got home. So much for worrying about zombies.