When you run in a new place or setting, does the novelty add some spark to your running like it does for me?

We’ve had a stretch of warm, sunny weather in Spokane, so I made plans to drive to a new place where I’d never been.

Driving north from Spokane, you see fewer stores, homes, and farms. It’s not long before the road ends. I parked and after a couple miles of running on a trail, it ended too. I was in uncharted territory.

It doesn’t take that long to reach this area where civilization has yet to be established. It’s a large, unexplored area, and using a map is no help. They all have a big blank area with the phrase, ‘Yet to be explored or mapped.’

It’s neat having unexplored frontier so close to town. There are rumors of undiscovered animal species, and some people say a remnant population of dinosaurs exist. I consider it a bunch of hootenanny.

I hadn’t run long before I started hearing an occasional loud roar in the distance. I was startled by a huge, airplane-size, flying creature gliding across my path just ahead.

A couple times the sound of a large predator attacking prey that viciously fought back echoed through the valley. Hmmm…….maybe there’s more to this area than I thought.

Twice I came to piles of excrement that were as tall as me. The animal that did it must be huge. Then I came to an unsettling scene. It appeared a solitary hiker had been devoured, and parts of limbs lay scattered about.

Disturbing as the scene was, I pushed on because I wanted to get in more mileage.

I came to a clearing and whoa! I startled a large animal feeding on carrion. It looked like a saber-tooth tiger, an extinct animal. It sprinted to me and attacked.

I desperately fought back with all I had, and for some reason, the creature broke off the attack and ran away.

I was unscathed except one of my fingers really hurt. It wasn’t hard to tell why. The creature had bitten it off.

Lucky for me, I found the bloody, missing digit on the ground. I grabbed it and ran at a really fast pace back to my car. I put my finger in a small box I had in the trunk, hoping doctors could reattach it.

Arriving home, I was too stressed-out to attend to my injury. I put my finger in the frig, fixed a bowl of my favorite comfort food and watched Seinfeld re-runs. 

My visit to the hospital will have to wait until tomorrow.

Last Thursday I checked out this running group I’d heard about. Someone told me it was their first run of the season.

So I get there, and parking’s a hassle. I had to park so far away that I got in major mileage just running from my car to the meeting spot.

Hassle number two – the room is so packed I had to shove, push and throw people aside to get in. It’s a big banquet room, and there are more than 500 people inside.

This is not a running group. It’s aerobic overpopulation.

So, some people get on the stage, and I guess it’s the group’s board and this dude starts talking, and check out the coat he’s wearing. What’s the deal with that? What is our world coming to?

I do the run, and it’s three miles which is okay, but the post-run party – boy are there issues. Look at the line for beer. I expect a short wait at most, not an overnight stay. I paid a guy $10 to be a line placeholder and went for some free cake.

It was pretty nice chowing down cake while checking out the tall lovely standing nearby with her hands on her hips.

My eyes couldn’t get enough, and before I knew it, I’d downed more than a dozen pieces while staring at her.

So here’s another issue – the dude with the crazy coat comes over and gives me the crook eye as if I alone am putting the group’s cake budget into the red.

He hangs around monitoring me, so I decide to check the status of my beer order.

The guy I paid is nowhere to be found. Eventually I find out he got through the line in about two minutes because the servers are really fast, and my beer’s been sitting on a table for over half an hour. This brings me to the next issue.

I take a drink, and it’s warm. How can any respectable business get away with serving warm beer? This running group sucks!

Things eventually got better. I met the DJ, who’s a member of the club, and a pleasant guy to talk to.

He’s the only DJ I know who joins the crowd on the dance floor and grooves to his own music.

In an adjacent room I chatted with this friendly group. I whined and complained about their running club, but they laughed and told me to stop joking around.

I met a couple attractive women who were attending their first run. With club members like this, I’m very motivated to attend future runs.I think with this group I’ve found my ultimate dream come true – flirting with pretty women while gobbling down free cake.

Finally, I admit that I’m not really a first timer. I’ve been going to Flying Irish runs for several years, and I joke when I say the group sucks. It’s a great social event, and I’ve become friends with a lot of wonderful people. I look forward to Thursday evenings.

And because I’m such a super member, in my own mind, I celebrate by attending runs wearing a cape.

What country’s runners have set the most world records in the marathon? The top two have nineteen and eighteen, respectively. The third place country has eight. If you can guess these three countries, you are a true student of marathoning.

I did the two-hour drive to Washington State University in Pullman and got a day pass to the Library of Academic and Scholarly Research. I wanted the most reliable and accurate sources for compiling my list.

Near the end of several hours of researching, I asked a librarian a question. Learning what I was doing, she told me using a computer at home could have given me all the info I needed.

Many times I’ve presented myself awards for outstanding achievement. However, this move was noteworthy for the opposite reason. Since I recognize and promote myself when I do something well, it’s only fair I do the same when I’m not outstanding. I put on a dunce cap and restricted myself to the corner for one hour.

Okay, now the results. Nine countries had a runner set a world record once, so for brevity, I list only countries with multiple world record performances.

*             Men                                      Women                              Combined

• United Kingdom – 12          United States – 12                 United States – 19
• Japan – 7                            Norway – 6                            United Kingdom – 18
• United States – 7                United Kingdom – 6               Japan – 8
• Ethiopia – 5                         West Germany – 5                 Kenya – 7
• Kenya – 4                            France – 3                             Norway – 6
• Australia – 3                        Kenya – 3                               Ethiopia – 5
• Sweden – 2                                  *                                    France – 3

You may wonder why African countries aren’t in the top three since the last six men’s world records have been set by either a Kenyan or Ethiopian runner. This is because their successes occurred in recent years whereas the U.S. and British runners set many of their records in the early days of marathoning.

If you’d like to check out the details, you can read about the marathon world record progression on Wikipedia. As well, an excellent infographic can be found at Runrepeat.com.

Running topics are once again taking a back seat as my mentor directs me, against my wishes, to write about my experiences as I’m prepared for a future role, in which I turned getting dressed in the morning into a show for the woman who lived next door.

The woman who took over the lease next door to me was a co-worker at an insurance agency with the former tenant and had visited once before when I did my thing in front of the window. When she moved in, she put up a wall screen that covered most of her window. My interpretation was that she wasn’t interested in my morning shows.

Another woman in her mid-30’s often came over first thing in the morning who I later learned was another co-worker at the insurance agency. I assumed she was there to provide support to her friend and co-worker, and possibly to dissuade me from doing my thing.

It was surprising that mentor did not push me to disrobe while the two were there. I noticed small signs that I was misinterpreting, but being the cautious person I am, I didn’t act on it.

Over time I noticed signs that suggested my “performances” were desired and they’d be positively received. Mentor advised me it was time.

As before, I presented myself in various ways and mentor advised me to do this and that in order to add interest for my next door audience.

Though I couldn’t see through my neighbor’s sheer curtain, at times while performing close to my window, as I kept myself shielded from being seen by anyone else, she often strolled slowly past another, uncovered window. I took that as a sign that she approved of my behavior.

Like the previous tenant, she had a guy, and he worked out of town often. Though I chatted with my friendly neighbor on occasion, like before, it was typical neighbor-chat, and there was never any discussion of, or interaction beyond our morning ritual.

Also like before, as time went on, I was disheartened by mentor pushing me to take more risks. One morning, mentor suggested my neighbor was usually up well before my regular start time, and I should do something special. I did not want to do this, but as always, I was compelled.

Soon after this advice was given, one morning my neighbor’s grandfather walked into view in the breezeway between our places. His eyes wavered slightly as if he’d seen me peripherally and wanted to look directly. I don’t know how much he saw, but I immediately went into damage control.

My neighbor’s grandfather came over occasionally to check on her, and I’d talked to him on a previous visit. He was likeable, and I’d told him I’d watch out for her. As you can see, I did more than watch out for her.

The grandfather left and as the next few days passed, no one knocked on my door or confronted me about what happened. Apparently I dodged a bullet again.

This wasn’t the only incident in which I was caught in the window. In each case, instead of being allowed to do the sensible thing and refraining, mentor again compelled me to continue the show the next morning as if nothing had happened. I know this caused some grief to my neighbor.

After a few months, her lease was up and she moved out. An elderly couple from Kentucky moved into the apartment, and they often brought over a slice of freshly baked homemade pie that was very delicious.

Enough time has passed that it’s apparent I escaped mostly unscathed, as far as know, and up to now. I feel an attachment to the women next door because I saw traits in them that I admired, and despite my behavior, I think somehow, they’d not developed a negative attitude toward me. Though we were separated by two windows and several feet of concrete, an intimacy had developed in our morning ritual, and I wished there was a way I could have talked to them more often.

If you missed an earlier, much shorter post, My Daily Stress, I explain why I must do these things and who mentor is.

This is a continuation of the previous post which has nothing to do with running. My mentor has instructed me to use this platform to tell about my experiences as I’m prepared for a future role.

In the last post I wrote about undressing in front of a window in my living room so that I could be seen by a young woman who lived next-door. I didn’t think it wise to do this, but mentor compels me to do things against my will.

This daily undressing quickly changed from just changing my clothes to putting on a show. Along the way, my neighbor gave small signs that she liked the show even though I couldn’t see her because of the sheer curtain covering her window. This allowed me to overcome my resistance to do this every morning before leaving for work. A couple times, after my “performance”, my neighbor came outside and waved good-by as I left for work. It relieved me that what I was doing was not being received negatively.

As the weeks passed, I became less enthused to continue. It seemed that it was becoming old hat for my neighbor. However, mentor pushed me to continue and take increasing risks. I started “performing” after coming home from evenings out which I was in no mood to do. It was very risky as there were more people in the household than just her.

Also, whenever I stood close to the window, I was visible to several residences. I always monitored the outside environment, but someone could be looking out their window, and it might be hard for me to notice. One morning this happened, and I noticed too late.

Across the street, two women were watching and retreated when they saw me look their way. I immediately stopped and short time later, a vehicle pulled up in front of my neighbor’s apartment.

The guy eyed my place before getting out and knocking on my neighbor’s door. She stepped outside and they talked for a few minutes. She had an expression of deep concern the entire time. She did not smile or appear at ease. Was this guy a plainclothes policeman?

He did most of the talking, and it appeared she was giving short responses to whatever he was asking. In the end, he returned to his vehicle and drove away.

I’ve written before that it’s my nature to be cautious. After something like this, of course I’d cool it. But the next morning I was directed by my unrelenting mentor to resume my performances.

Eventually, the woman next door moved away. With all the risk-taking, I’m lucky there weren’t any big, negative incidents. Involving my neighbor also put her at risk, but I’m grateful for her care in keeping our arrangement under wraps.

I thought my risk-taking performances had finally come to an end. However, a new tenant next door was another young woman. My next post will describe how mentor insisted my performing career continue.

For readers who wonder why I am doing these things, and who “mentor” is, it can be found in a previous post, My Daily Stress.

I’m called upon once again by my discarnate mentor to write about experiences as I am prepared for a future role, so another vacation from running topics.

As I’ve mentioned before, I must do many things that I would not choose on my own. Often there is a sexual aspect to this. I’ve written previously about a sexual fantasy in which I disrobed as a woman watched and how it recently became almost 100% accurately manifested in reality.

In this case, a tall, young woman moved into the unit next door and had a good view into my “apartment”. I was working outside one day and she came up to me and introduced herself. She was friendly and out-going.

Not long after this, as I got dressed one morning, mentor instructed me to do so in front of the window. I did not think this a wise idea, nor did I the next morning when I was told to do so again. However, both mornings I stripped off everything I had on and then quickly put my clothes on. Because of a sheer curtain on her window that allowed her to see into my place, but prevented me from seeing in, I did not know if she saw.

I was given a break for a few days, and one morning after returning from a run, I dawdled getting into the shower. Without any input from mentor, I happened to notice signs that the woman next door and a visiting friend were monitoring me, expecting that I’d be changing.

I was relieved this happened because of the risk I’d taken. It signaled my undressing had been noticed and without any apparent negative reaction which was very important because the following week I would be sent to the window again and do more than just change my clothes.

For a few months, nearly every morning before my work day, I “performed” in front of the window. Knowing that I had a receptive audience, and receiving small signs along the way signaling approval, I became less worried about negative consequences.

However, mentor pushed me to do things that involved greater risk, and it turned out that others caught glimpses of my performances. In the next post, I will continue with this topic. For readers who haven’t read a previous post, My Daily Stress, I explain why I must do these things.

With the Super Bowl coming up, the editorial board and staff of I Must Run Everywhere (me), decided to do a post about the close relationship between football and running. To commemorate the big game I carried a football on my run today.The two sports have many interwoven aspects. Football branched off from running as a distinct sport over a hundred years ago, but because of their shared background, many phrases in football have their origins in running. This is easy to see in the below comparisons.

First and 10. / First in the 10K.

His pass try was short by several feet. / He passed several guys with big feet.

First and goal. / First is my goal.

He passed 45 times in the win. / She passed 45 runners to win.

He finished with a quarterback sack at the end. / She finished a quarter mile back of her friend.

I started at running back in the football game. / I started running back and my foot got lame.

If winning $50 sits well with you, answer the following question which has answer clues embedded: Name the major race held in early March in the Snake River Canyon in Eastern Washington which covers 13.1 miles.

My answer, River of Snakes Half of a Marathon was so close, and my disappointment at losing out on $50 is shown in the below photo.

If you guessed Snake River Canyon Half Marathon, you are right. Congratulations! Well-known quiz show host Sprint McDowell is delighted to award your winnings. Just download the app, Cash for Me, tap on the envelope Sprint is holding, and a slot will form on your screen. Your $50 will be dispensedMany Spokane runners make the two-hour drive to Wawawai on the Snake River for this flat, out-and-back race. Click here for race details.

I refuse to participate because of a bad experience I had the one time I entered. I spent a lot of money traveling to Hawaii instead of Wawawai and drove myself crazy looking for the race starting area.

The course record holder is Evan Sims, an acquaintance and member of Spokane running clubs, who ran 1:07:06 in 2012. This is a per mile pace of 5:07. I am sure Phidippides, the originator of the marathon would be delighted knowing what a very fast pace Evan ran.

However, Phidippides would cuss and do body slams in his grave if he knew race organizers regularly cut his race to just half the distance after he paid the ultimate sacrifice completing the first marathon.

Evan, who’s in his 30’s, believes he’s in his peak running years, and it won’t be long before he starts slowing down, so he’s running lots of miles in a try to break the course record. I talked to him last Thursday and he’d already run 90 miles for the week, and he doesn’t take any days off. Evan is shown leading a race in the below photo.

However, all Evan’s work could be for naught if it’s a gusty day. This has happened to him at this race before.

I award gold stars to people who perform random acts of kindness and amazing achievement. After a person has earned 10 stars, they receive a certificate. This accomplishment is so difficult, that only two people (Jill Cameron of Frederick, MD and myself) have ever done it. If Evan achieves his goal, I will do something I’ve never done before – award a certificate even though he’s well short of ten gold stars.

Good luck, Evan. May the above certificate soon be in your hands.