Run Like a Super Hero

When you dress nicely, you feel good about yourself. In addition, would if what you wore caused you to run faster. Both of these can be accomplished by wearing a cape.

Since I started running with a cape, my times have become world-class.

Since I started running with a cape, my times have become world-class.

Numerous studies have shown that wearing a cape is cool. It’s why super heroes do it. Now there are capes for runners. I talked to Nicole Lund, a running store associate with expert knowledge.

“We carry lots of sizes and colors. Some people like a long cape that streams way out, whereas others like a shorter cape that will still ripple while running at an easy pace”

I thought that cape effectiveness would work only for shorter, faster runs. But Nicole said it’s not so.

“I’m a marathoner, and I started wearing a cape last fall. My PR went from 3:52 to 3:18. That’s more than a half hour improvement!”

Nicole explained that the only downside is when you happen upon a situation where there’s trouble. People tend to think you’re a super hero who came to help.

“Has that happened to you? I asked.

“Yes. This winter I came across a minor auto accident, and they wanted me to lift the car to get a trapped person out. They got very angry at me. They thought I was Wonder Woman.”

Status Upgrade: I’m at Dog Level

In my last post, I mentioned how I saw the most beautiful woman running in my neighborhood. As I was doing an eight-miler yesterday, I hoped we’d cross paths.

At the intersection where I’d seen her, I saw a woman in the distance running the opposite direction from me. I studied her, not sure if she was the one. I thought of breaking into a sprint, but her pace looked pretty decent. It’d be hard to catch her.

A minute later she turned. I couldn’t even tell what street she’d taken. I was saddened. Maybe I missed the only chance I’d get.

I resumed my run, regretting I didn’t run after her the moment I saw her.

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I passed a fenced, two-story house. A dog that always aggressively barks and charges at me had gotten out. With no fence between us, the dog put its tail between its legs and ran. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

I chased him down alleys, through yards, across streets, zig-zagging from one side to the other, I was relentless. Whenever he put more gap between us, I really pushed to close it. I was getting a great speed workout.

After a mile and a half he gave up and cowered in someone’s front yard. I jumped on him.

We wrestled until I noticed the homeowner staring out the window. Dog and I cooled it and began jogging back to his house. We were friends now.

Now whenever I go past, he’s friendly and excited to see me.

 

 

Zombies vs. Runners

If you’re running alone, especially at night, it’s natural to worry about a zombie attack. They’re always trying to improve their stats, grow their population base, and convert us to their way of living.

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Occasionally I feel vulnerable to a zombie attack, but fortunately runners have a big advantage. We can run. Even though some movies portray them as being fast and agile, they’re not. If you’ve ever taken the time to sit in a cemetery all night long and watch, when zombies come out of the ground (some can’t even do that) they’re permanently stiff and slow. The fastest they can go is a medium walk, and they can hardly bend their legs and arms. Almost anyone can outwrestle a zombie. However, they become a threat by grouping up.

I worry about this as I run because one of their favorite tactics is to hide behind parked cars, or on the other side of the corner you’re about to go around. I always try to keep space between myself and places they could be hiding.

I got a big scare the other day while running through my neighborhood. I was thinking about zombies when I heard footsteps behind me.

I turned around, and it wasn’t a zombie. It was a woman, running through the intersection I’d just gone through. She was tall, dark-haired, wearing a form-fitting dark blue outfit and a white cap. Her ponytail bounced as she ran.

I stared until she passed by. I ran back to the intersection and watched. Her form was so efficient, her thighs so long and beautifully shaped. I couldn’t believe how taken I was. This woman…she was the most beautiful flower in the whole shop.

I looked at my watch. I checked the intersection. It was a Tuesday. I had to write this down as soon as I got home. So much for worrying about zombies.