Online registration sucks!

I rarely fly into a rage and shoot steam out my ears, but when filling out online forms, it happens sometimes.

I recently entered a race in which I missed the deadline to register by mail. I know it’s archaic, old-school, and uncool, but I use it as often as I can because it’s S-I-M-P-L-E.

So I go online and right away I’m blocked from registering because I don’t know my password. Apparently I registered for a previous race through the same race registration company and was forced to get a password.

The steam inside my head is starting to pressurize.

SONY DSC

I have to have a new, temporary password emailed. Sometimes this takes longer than you’re told.

I finally get in, and here’s a list of several free newsletters that will be emailed to me. I don’t want these newsletters, but all the boxes are checked. I have to uncheck each box.

Next…what’s with this list? I can pick three magazines to try free. However, I have to supply my credit card number, and I’ll be charged for the free issues plus a year’s subscription if I don’t cancel promptly before the trial period ends. I see a hassle if I take advantage of this offer, and…..why is this even here?

Can I finish up? No. Now I’m being offered registration fee insurance. For $7.99, one-fifth the $40 entry fee, I’ll get a refund if I’m unable to make the race. Maybe this would make sense if it was a very high entry fee and such a tough race that preparing for it could lead to injury, but buying insurance to cover forty dollars?

All I want to do is register. Can’t I use a paper form? Pretty please. I promise I’ll make it hard on myself by carefully reading the liability waiver.

Finally, I come to the payment section. Fetch my credit card. Enter sixteen digits. Enter expiration date. Enter my top secret security code. Double check to make sure there’s no mistakes.

Oh goody! For using this time-consuming, on-line debacle filled with amazingly valuable offers, I get to have $3.95 added to my race fee.

To top it off, I missed out on another benefit of paper registration – getting in a run to my mailbox for pick up.

Jim running to mailbox

Encounters with wild animals while running

Satirical and absurd describe most of my posts. Sometimes I write of true events. This time is a sometime.

As a high schooler, my parents had a remote lake lot with a travel trailer, and I frequently accompanied my dad to spend a leisure working day there. One time I arranged to leave early to get in a run, and he’d pick my up on his drive home.

Running through a heavily wooded area, I saw a small animal on the gravel road ahead, running away from me. I caught up and slowed to its pace, keeping a buffer of several meters. Never before had I run in tandem with a skunk.

He ran a lot further than I thought skunks could run before stopping and facing me. He stomped his front feet which I knew was a warning that he’d spray. I didn’t react because I was a good twenty feet away, but when he turned and backed up toward me, I backed up, too.

Eventually he ran into the woods – a smarter escape route than sticking to the road.

During my college days I worked summers at a YMCA camp north of Spokane. Running alone on an old logging road one morning, I rounded a corner, and in front of me was a coyote and a badger, facing off, about to fight. It’s the only time I’ve seen a badger in the wild.Badger

(From Wikimedia Commons. Photo by Yathin S. Krishnappa)

Seeing me, they immediately fled. I ran a short distance past the spot, stopped and looked for them. I was hoping they’d come back together and resume their scuffle. I would’ve enjoyed watching a coyote-badger fight. But I apparently ruined that possibility.

Though I wasn’t on a run, my most perilous encounter occurred in a remote area of the Colville National forest in northeastern Washington a few years ago. I was doing a solitary ten-mile hike because overtraining caused a partially torn meniscus a couple weeks earlier.

I awoke an animal sleeping near the trail, and as it got to its feet, I thought it was a moose. As it galloped toward me, I saw it wasn’t a moose, but a bear.

I’ve done a lot of hiking, and several times I’ve crossed paths with bears. In every instance they fled as if I was very dangerous. I waved my arms and yelled loudly which didn’t deter him one bit.

Evasive action wasn’t an option because my torn meniscus wouldn’t allow it. I gave one last deep-throated yell and waved my arms in the most aggressive way I could. It was as if the bear was completely deaf. He closed in at a full run.

The bear skidded to a stop, his snout nearly touching my legs. I could have patted his head. Then he turned and trotted away.

Though I was concerned and hyper-alert, I didn’t experience great fear. The bear wasn’t especially hostile – no growling or baring of teeth. I believe he was groggy, and his first reaction was to run at me. I figured he finally identified I was human and did what bears normally do when they encounter people.

Thankful the situation ended well, I continued my hike, but made noise just in case the bear was still nearby.

If you find yourself wanting to read more instances of “amazing” wildlife encounters, I described a very unusual one in the previous, farcical post, “Camels vs. Humans“.

The fluke incident that started Bloomsday

To celebrate the 40th running of Bloomsday next week, I’m re-posting a May, 2013 post about the circumstances which led to the founding of Spokane’s biggest road race.

The nation’s second largest run by number of timed finishers, Bloomsday was founded by Don Kardong, the fourth place finisher in the 1976 Olympic marathon. I watched 1976 Olympic marathon gold medalist, Frank Shorter, win the very first run in 1977. Don Kardong finished third in that race, and he’s currently the Bloomsday race director.

Don Kardong leading Steve Prefontaine in a 1970 race. (Courtesy of Creative Commons)

Don Kardong leading Steve Prefontaine in a 1970 race. (Photo credit: Creative Commons)

The idea for Bloomsday was hatched by Don Kardong the same day as a long line of people were waiting at the Spokane YMCA for handouts of surplus cheese on a cold November morning in 1976, which the United States Department of Agriculture arranged frequently back then.

As the time neared for the cheese to be distributed, a YMCA official appeared and announced that there’d been an error in the newspaper. The cheese was not at the YMCA, but at the YWCA, located just a few blocks away. The crowd broke into a run.

Mr. Kardong, enjoying a quiet, contemplative stroll, was surprised to find a sprinting mob coming at him. To avoid being trampled, he ran a short distance and turned into the first parking lot, which happened to be the YWCA. Merely wanting to escape, he somehow ended up first in line, and was given two large bricks of cheese. A reporter covering the event wrote a front page story the next day vilifying Kardong for taking advantage of a program for the needy and as well, using his running ability to get to the front of the line. Kardong says, “I got a bum rap for that, but man, was that cheese good! I ate an entire brick as I walked home. I saved the other, and today it’s on display at the Bloomsday Hall of Fame.”USDA cheese

Inspired by the sprinting mob, Kardong started the Race for Surplus Cheese. Over time, a more dignified name was sought. Thus, Bloomsday.

 

My public lecture is a huge success

A couple weeks ago, for the first time in my life, I gave a lecture, open to the public. It turned out very, very well.Jim's lecture2

The six-hour lecture event focused on insects I’ve seen while running. Not once was there any chatter or conversation among attendees as I spoke. It was obvious that everyone was very interested as I described the bugs I’ve seen flying around or crawling on the ground as I run past.

I sneaked a photo about halfway through, and I think because of the sheer wealth of information presented, the audience is trying to digest it all.Dave bored

In a different area of the lecture hall, I set up a table and a sign for attendees to get in line for autographs. The gentleman above, David Blythe, apparently forgot my mention of the post-lecture autograph session, but quickly got in line when I reminded him.Jim autograph line (1)

After getting my autograph he rushed out with nary a good-bye.

I couldn’t help beaming as I sat at my little autograph table. When people rush away, obviously intent on getting home to put the autograph in a secure, safe spot, I can’t help but be proud.

With this success, I scheduled another lecture, this one eight hours, entitled, “Descriptions of Jim’s many t-shirts acquired from entering races over the years.”

I suggest making arrangements now to ensure you get a seat.

 

Spokane’s first sub-4 minute miler

When I was a junior in high school, I qualified in the mile at the All-City Meet. The program, which I still have, listed the All-City record for the event. I’d heard of Rick Riley, but it was the first time I’d seen how fast he’d run.All-city meet program

The same year he set the All-City mile record, he won the state meet two-mile in 8:48.3. No one in the 50 years since has run that fast in a high school track meet in Washington. Still a high-schooler, he qualified for the United States Track and Field Championships that summer and did well enough to make the U.S. National Team.

Rick attended Ferris High School in Spokane and then Washington State University where he ran track and cross-country.

Rick dueling it out with Steve Prefontaine at a WSU-Oregon track meet.

Rick dueling it out with Steve Prefontaine at a WSU-Oregon track meet.

I recall seeing the below photo and reading a news article as a kid when Rick won the Pac-8 mile championship in 1970. His coach quipped, “I never thought I’d have a four minute miler.”

Rick out-leaning Roscoe Divine of Oregon at the Pac-8 track championships.

Rick out-leaning Roscoe Devine of Oregon.

The first sub-4 minute mile was done in 1954. In 1970 they were still fairly rare. In winning this race in 3:59.2, Rick became the 32nd American and first Spokane runner to go under four minutes.

In 1976, my second year of running at Spokane Falls Community College, a new distance coach was hired – Rick Riley.

Rick was no hardcore coach. He was knowledgeable yet easy-going and likable. Though an accomplished runner who’d been one of our country’s top performers, we didn’t think of him that way. However, huddling with our team at Seward Park in Seattle prior to the state junior college cross-country championship race, another team was next to us, and I overheard their coach point him out and say to his runners, “See that guy – he’s a sub-4 minute miler.”

I remember the look of awe on their faces as they looked Rick over. Such is the status of someone who can run a mile that fast.

We runners got along well with Coach Riley except for one incident which escalated so dramatically that it ended in a shooting that I witnessed.

Apparently there’d been a conflict between Coach and one runner on our team, Russ Roadruck. One day, myself and a few other runners were in the locker room getting ready for practice when Russ burst in and ran toward us, shouting, “No! No! Don’t!”

Right behind was Rick, chasing him, and as they reached us, we saw Rick had a gun. He fired several shots, and Russ fell to the floor at our feet, silent and unmoving.

Normally, in such a situation, you’d scramble away to avoid getting shot, or attempt to disarm the shooter. However, we just stood there, smiling, waiting for whatever came next.

Russ came back to life and got up. Rick had a starter’s pistol which can only shoot blanks. It was a neat little skit they’d concocted for our amusement. It wouldn’t be a good idea these days with all the real-life workplace shootings and mass murders, but back then, they were almost unheard of.

Last September, there was an event in Pullman, home of Washington State University, in which Rick was inducted into the WSU Hall of Fame.Rick at Hall of Fame (1)

The official reason for his induction was to honor his outstanding running career at WSU. However, I believe the real reason was to pay homage to the entertaining skit he performed in the SFCC locker room.

Handcuffs for me?

Runners using supplements containing DNA of horses was a topic I covered more than two years ago in Genetically Modified Runners.horse

Shortly after writing it, I became intrigued about finding a way to mask the drug’s presence in the body.

I’m an over-the-hill runner doing a small-time, non-income producing blog with no prospects of hitting it big in the world of running. If I could find a way to make it undetectable, I’d have a one-of-a-kind supplement so effective that demand would be off the charts, and I could make lots of money.

Long story short, using chemistry I learned in college, and with the assistance of an accomplished research chemist, I struck gold.

It didn’t take long for runners to start showing up at my door. At first it was top area runners and then national stars came calling. Within weeks, Olympic hopefuls from around the world were booking flights to Spokane, Washington. I became a very, very busy “running consultant”.

It was heady, heady times for me. Rubbing shoulders with the world’s running elites, invitations to overseas meets to watch races from the VIP room, shaking hands with Olympic champions past and present. I was a MAJOR somebody!

I had the world in my hand, but I wanted more. A European runner training for the Rio de Janeiro Olympics, who’d made several large purchases, asked if I’d consider giving him a volume discount.

I flew into a rage. I screamed he’d be a nobody without my supplement. I told him his price just doubled, and I meant it.

It was a big mistake. My shouting was overheard, and within a few weeks the runner was questioned by his country’s track and field governing body. He spilled the beans – all of them.

Word spread, and my business has dried up. I’ve been called in for questioning, and despite my denials of wrongdoing, I’ve been told stonewalling will only delay the inevitable.

Yesterday, I found out my freedom may be short-lived. A grand jury investigation is nearly done, and an indictment is at hand. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to be spending a lot of time in a very tiny room with a concrete floor.

I’ve never been arrested, and when they come for me, I don’t want to come across as a klutzy oaf. I know it seems silly, but it’ll likely be a news event with photographers and reporters, and I want to look good.

I’ve been practicing putting my hands behind my back. My first tries felt so awkward. I knew I wasn’t doing it right.Being cuffed1

After a lot of practice, I think I finally have it down.Being cuffed2

When they put me into the car, I don’t want to hit my head, so I’ve been practicing that, too.Getting in police car

So, my fellow running club members, if you happen to see me as I’m being transported to jail, keep in mind I can’t wave hello. But if it happens, it’s nice to see you.In the police car

I’m selling my running supplement business for an unbelievably low price. Sure, you’ll have a few minor issues to deal with, but it’s a big money-making opportunity. You can learn more about this great supplement in my previous post, Genetically Modified Runners.

“Listen up, you rotten runners!”

I was offended when a state official showed up at a recent Saturday morning Manito Running Club gathering and used the phrase that is the title of this blog post. He made us feel like we’re bottom-feeding, low-life scum ruining things for everyone.MRC haranguing

He said that beside being famous for taking up the entire road and forcing cars aside, we are causing higher taxes for everyone and ruining our transportation infrastructure.

Since he spoke to our group, I’ve been cursed a half dozen times while out running. The anger and condemnation seems way out of proportion to me.

What’s happening is that many runners wear studded shoes or attachments in snowy conditions to improve traction. Below are a couple photos of these.traction implement 1

traction implement2

Apparently, these shoe traction implements are tearing up our streets (and sidewalks) the way studded snow tires do, but with far worse effects. The state DOT website shows damage we’re supposedly causing in the Spokane area alone.undamaged street

Cora Street, a very popular route for runners, at the beginning of winter.damaged street

The same section of Cora at present.

undamaged sidewalk

The sidewalk above, photographed last spring, leads to a park popular with runners.damaged sidewalk

The same sidewalk today.

The governor of Washington, Jay Inslee, held a news conference, widely broadcast, in which he urged runners to stop wearing their traction implements. The spending to repair runner-caused damage has skyrocketed to the point that the state budget is in turmoil and large tax increases are needed immediately unless the damage stops now.Jay Inslee

(Photo by NPR)

After a long discussion, the Manito Running Club decided to abandon its tradition of meeting at the park that is its namesake and convene well outside town at Riverside State Park so that running routes can be done on trails.

After only one run, a state park official showed up at our next gathering with the below photo. He began his address with, “Listen to me, you worthless runners!”Trail rut

On a positive note, the Manito Running Club has been hired at very good pay to run single file for a few miles along Highway 2 north of town. A construction company is saving a lot of money hiring us instead of digging a trench for a new pipeline.