Drilling equipment, storage tanks and big diesel generators may soon be sitting in my front yard.

An oil drilling company is obtaining permits to start a fracking operation in my front yard. I explained how I had to cancel this year’s Pine and Basalt Marathon in a recent post, but plans were on for resuming the race next year.

After arriving home from work last week, I found a sign in my yard saying my lot is being rezoned from single-family residential to industrial-unrestricted.

I found out the company petitioning for the change has an office in town, and I went right over. At first, no one would talk to me, but after demanding answers, a guy finally met with me.

He said I own the land, but I don’t own the mineral rights. When I pointed out how hard I worked to transform my yard from a lawn to a natural setting with indigenous plants mimicking the Eastern Washington landscape, he said I’m a liar because it’s nothing but an empty, weedy field.

My front yard is not an empty, weedy field! I also have a thriving population of indigenous animals that Ruby Redpepper helped me establish.

“Yeah, we noticed the wildlife, he said to me. “We’ll have to get rid of them cuz they’ll be in the way.”

Oh, I got hopping mad. I told him there was no way a fracking operation was going to happen in my front yard. He said a team of lawyers will ensure that it will.

I decided to take this issue to the streets. You’ll find me marching from dawn to dusk in front of my house as I fight this terrible injustice.

(Note: This post is a spoof. No oil-fracking company is planning to drill in my front yard.)