Earlier in the year I wrote about a meltdown I had in the finish area of the Teen Closet 50 Mile relay race. Last weekend I ran in the Jingle Bell 5K and nearly had another meltdown.

I was one of 18 members of Shari’s Team, some of whom are in the photo below. Shari Irwin, in the front row wearing the red jacket, was responsible for raising over $700 for the Arthritis Foundation by putting together our team. I’m in the back row, second from right, wearing a headband.

As the race started, I ran at an easy pace because I’d already done five miles with the Manito Running Club earlier in the morning. However, after a half mile or so, my competitive side came alive.

I picked it up, and Jill Heuer Gilson, wearing the pink jacket in the photo above, was just ahead of me and moving up also. I had my sights on her, but despite a couple miles of gap-closing opportunity, I gained little ground, and she finished several seconds ahead of me.

“Jill,” I said after the race, “Why didn’t you get tired? I wanted to finish ahead of you.”

She apologized and offered her condolences for my inability to catch up. She said that she wasn’t aware I was trying to catch her, otherwise, she would have slowed down to let me go by.

“Well, Jill,” I said. “That’s nice of you to say, but you didn’t actually do it, and I don’t like that.”

“Jim!” she said, giving me a gentle shove. “You’re a globnorb.”

My back stiffened and I glared at her. “Listen, Jill, I am NOT a globnorb.”

“Oh, yes you are, and you’re also a snurkglip.”

“A snurkglip? What’s that?”

“Take a look in a mirror, Jim. It’s a person who has their headband on backwards and upside down.”