Runner Has Meltdown at Race

Members of the Manito Runners Club team were involved in a very unfortunate incident

Members of the Manito Runners Club team were involved in a very unfortunate incident

Last weekend I ran in a relay race called the Teen Closet 50. I’ll give readers a few moments to genuflect (genuine reflection) to figure out why teen closet is in the race name.

The 50-mile relay has ten legs that start and end at the large, public high schools in my hometown of Spokane, Washington. A ten-member team is ideal, but teams can have fewer runners.

The Classic Cruizers, first place, masters coed. I'm wearing the white hat

The Classic Cruizers, first place, masters coed. I’m wearing the white hat

My team, the Classic Cruizers, has finished first every year since the race’s inception three years ago. Our outstanding streak of first-place finishes is easy to understand if you analyze this year’s top finishing teams in our division:

  1. Classic Cruizers – 6 hrs. 19 min. 42 sec.
  2. (no 2nd place finisher)
  3. (no 3rd place finisher)

One of the highlights is the post-race freebies – pizza, ice cream and plenty of swag. The entry fee proceeds funds clothing needs of teen-aged foster children, which you should have figured out after your allotted time for genuflecting.

After taking this photo, I took the rest of the slices and wolfed them down

Despite our first-place masters division finish, I was miffed at the Manito Runners Club team that finished just ahead of us, winning the open coed division. I could have gotten two first-place medals. It gnawed at me until the awards ceremony when I lost it, charged the podium and yelled obscenities and slurs at the Manito team. I got into a scuffle with a couple race officials as they tried to pull me away.

I was told my conduct was a violation of race standards which I thoroughly disagree with, but I agreed to undergo sensitivity training. If there’s any reader who’d like to be a low-cost provider, please let me know by commenting.

As participants headed to their cars, a Manito Runners Club team member asked, “Jim, why did you yell at us? You’re in our club, and we’re friends with you.”

Friendship is neat, but winning medals is better. If someone on the MRC team would just fork one over, this riff would be healed.

5 thoughts on “Runner Has Meltdown at Race

  1. Hey Jim, What exactly does sensitivity training do other than refraining from yelling obscenities and slurs at others? Just stop doing it.

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