Notices like this, posted at a 5-mile race I did earlier this summer, have become common throughout Eastern Washington.

GMRs (Genetically Modified Runners) came about because of circumstances at a Spokane running store that resulted in a revolutionary therapy involving injections of horse DNA.

By mere chance, a pair of genetics graduate students, unable to find work, met after taking temporary jobs last summer at Runners Soul. Putting their minds together, they developed a brisk backroom business offering pricey gene therapy.

It’s all under the table, so you have to say “I like horses”, to get the treatment.

With a series of injections of horse DNA into a runner’s system, performance improves to levels that are beyond human. Some side effects include a mutation of the feet which gives a slight hoof-like appearance, along with a thin strip of mane on the upper back.

GMR’s have quickly learned to throttle back to avoid suspicion. Winning by a minute or two is okay. Crossing the finish line when the second place runner is at the halfway point is not.

Fortunately, GMR’s won’t challenge elite runners. Any non-human DNA in the body is easily detectable, thus this issue is limited to small-time fun runs that don’t test entrants.

One runner who admits to receiving the therapy is Todd Oglesbee, below, leading a race he easily won. When I asked if he was happy about getting the treatments, he gave a thumbs up.

“They wanted to test the therapy, so I volunteered. Since then, I’ve won every race I’ve entered. Other than an occasional intense desire to eat a bucket of oats, I feel great.”

I spoke with a couple race directors, and both said they were more than happy with Todd running in their races. When I asked why Todd could enter, but not other GMR’s, one replied, “It’s because Todd’s such a nice guy. He’s an exception to the exception.”