Gadgets Take Over Runner. Friends Say She’s no Longer Human.

A couple years ago I read in a scientific journal that if someone used too many gadgets while running, the electrical fields, energized by a runner’s exertions, could theoretically form its own consciousness and take over a human body.

Theory has become reality. Amy Smet DePaolo, a runner living in Spokane, Washington, has become the first known victim. On an evening run, she was wearing a smart phone on one arm, a heart rate monitor on the other, an ipod, two GPS units on her wrist (both could be unreliable at times), and a head lamp.

Amy Smet DePaolo Before Takeover

Amy Smet DePaolo Before Takeover

When she returned from her run, friends said she wasn’t herself. There were electronic tones coming from her body. She spoke in bursts of computer code. She refused to take her electronic gear off. She ate dinner with the desktop computer, gazing longingly, hugging and telling it that it looked really good.

By week’s end, a doctor’s visit confirmed what her family was seeing. Amy was becoming a walking, multi-purpose, electrical gadget made of human tissue. Her eyes were changing into a digital readout. Her internal organs were morphing into a motherboard. One hand had become two prongs that she stuck into an outlet 30 minutes a day.

Sadly, when she overheard her family planning to short her out to stop the conversion, she fled. Her husband, Toby, now raising their young son alone, tearfully says attempts to get her back have failed.

“She’s too sophisticated. Even though her eyes changed into a digital readout, she’s so adept at getting around because her internal bio-GPS unit is amazing, and she downloads real-time satellite imagery constantly, so she always knows who’s nearby. “

Toby sees little chance he’ll ever get the old Amy back. However, he’s investigating having his own conversion. “I’m sure Amy would come around if I became a bio-electrical unit too. I’d like to be a large-screen, HD, plasma TV. You know, really big – 256 inch screen, built-in Blu-ray, Netflix enabled, the whole shot. Oh, how our circuits would hum.”

2 thoughts on “Gadgets Take Over Runner. Friends Say She’s no Longer Human.

  1. Jim, I am intrigued by your thoughts in regard to my “awakening”. Yes, I am truly living life now. The droid existence suits me and has opened my eyes to a utopian reality where all information is at my fingertips. For instance, while running behind you last night, I was able to automatically calculate the velocity of your cape by a blinking my eyes quickly 3 times! This reality could be yours as well! Come join me! Amy

  2. Amy, I’m scared. Sure I’d like to join you, but becoming a droid in an utopian reality? That’s so beyond my field of experience, I’m not sure I could handle it. If somehow I can conjure the courage to make the leap, you’ll have to hold my hand and assure me that everything will be all right.

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