The transformation was gradual and slow, so that I wouldn’t notice. But as I genuflected last night, (That’s a word we used in education when I was a teacher.) I realized I have become 50, maybe 55% female.
Those really white legs shielded from sun since last year, which are now causing eye damage, were out in profusion last night at my running club’s 4.4-miler. A couple guys let me snap a photo of their legs, but their case is pretty mild compared to others. But it was white legs that got me realizing I’ve become part female.
Besides sucking the color out of skin, winter sucks the moisture too. I used to never hydrate my skin, but now after showering, I do my legs, face and elbows without fail, in winter and summer. When I was married, I gently chided my wife about all the bottles of creams and lotions she had. Now I’m the one with a cupboard full of stuff.
My hair used to be so oily, I could wring it over a pan and use the oil for frying. It actually imparted a delicious, baby’s-hair scent to my food. Now my hair’s so dry, I have to use conditioner. Then I use other grease stuff afterwards to make it look better. I spend so much time in the bathroom that by definition, I’ve become a woman.
At least I long ago gave up one thing that even the vast majority of guys used back in the day – the blow-dryer.