I’ve often wondered if aliens run. Since they spend so much time zipping around the universe on their extended, far-reaching missions, they surely need exercise. Do they have treadmills in their spaceships? When they find a new civilization, do they come down and enter races to get a feel for the inhabitants while getting a workout?
I checked finisher lists for alien-like names at a bunch of races around the country. I found a 2012 Boston Marathon finisher named Zy Dwaak, however his hometown was listed as Arlington, Virginia.
I spent some time at the website, Ihadareallyweirdexperiencewithaliens.com, and found someone who’d had a remarkable encounter. I contacted him.
Hans Harzl of Steiermark. Austria, was out for a run one evening when bright lights and a loud whoosh filled the air. A spacecraft landed nearby and a gaggle of aliens poured out.
“I was scared shitless,” Hans said. “I kicked it into high gear, but they caught up and surrounded me. I’ve heard of aliens probing humans, and I begged them to leave me alone. Luckily, all they did was run with me – at first.”
Hans said they went a few miles together before they turned back. The aliens told him, in perfect German, they just wanted to go for a run, happened to see him, and decided to join.
Hans added, “They were in great shape – weren’t even breathing hard. I think they could’ve run me into the ground if they wanted. They gave me a couple training tips and wished me good luck in my upcoming half-marathon.”
“They never did probe you?”
“Actually, they suggested some mutual probing, and it worked out very, very well.”
“Mutual probing? What’s that exactly? Sounds sexual.”
Hans smiled. “Aliens are very, very friendly. I really like them.”