Don’t Run on Wednesdays

I had no luck at the intersection today even though I hung around for more than ten minutes faking like I needed to stretch. The guy that lives at the corner, who came outside last week and asked if I was a gang member, gave me a wave from his front window.

Apparently the most beautiful woman in the world has changed her running time, or she took the day off, which got me thinking – what is the optimal number of days to take off?

After my run I called my friend, I.P. Aard, who’s a medical researcher at the National Institute of Running Sciences. She says the day of the week you rest is very important.

“So, I.P., what you mean is the day after a really hard work out or a tough race?”

“Jim, you know I like you, don’t you?”

“Yes, you’ve told me before, I.P. You’re pretty sweet yourself.”

“You’re such a sugar dream. But no, that’s not what I’m saying. You should take Wednesdays off.”

“Wednesdays? Why’s that?”

“Humans have a weekly circadian cycle. That’s the low point of our biorhythmic matrix. If you need to take another day off, Sunday is a secondary low point.”

“You’re kidding. I’ve never heard of this.”

“It’s a recent find. We did a massive study last year, and a follow up one confirmed our findings.”

“Would if I ran on Wednesdays?” I asked.

“You’d have a heightened risk of injury. You don’t gain as much. You may feel lethargic.”

“When you coming out my way, I.P.? I want to show you around here.”

“I don’t have any vacation time saved up. Maybe in late summer, sweet one.”

4 thoughts on “Don’t Run on Wednesdays

  1. Hi Jim! I typically use Monday as my recovery day. Based on your article it should be Wednesday and the second option is Sunday. There is a running group I belong to that likes to do speed workouts on Sunday mornings. Would it be wise to boycott these workouts?

    • Thanks for the question, Diana. The best solution is to buy a biorhythmic adjustinator. You can get one at Target or Shopko in small appliances. These machines were invented in the 60’s by hippies who wanted to align their biorhythms with the groovy vibes of the latest flower child who had just joined the commune. As far out as this seems, these hippies knew what they were doing. Their invention has been improved and taken a step further to adjust your weekly biorhythmic matrix. It comes with a dial that has all 7 days of the week on it. When Sunday or Wednesday rolls around, set the dial to a different day. The adjustinator will safely bombard you with infrabiofeedlot-gamma rays which causes your body to think its a different day. Voila! Problem solved. I think it’s so nice to use science and technology to manipulate and twist our natural instincts.

      • I am relieved that there are ways to work around the “Sunday drag.” I’ll confess that I am the one who typically leads the Sunday speed workouts. In other words, it would have been awkward for me to boycott these. Not to mention the fact that I would have to give everyone the grueling workout and then have to disappear after saying, “on your mark…set… go!” I would likely lose respect among my peers by doing this.

        My last question is how bad is it to run on a Wednesday? What are the consequences? I actually have several running buddies who refuse to take days off from exercise. They not only run on Wednesday, but also make the mistake of running on Sunday. Is this smart?

        • It is not smart. I suggest they see a running therapist who will counsel them to take care of their biorhythms. Running well in next Saturday’s race is good, but so is producing an aura that says, “I’m a good runner, and I like to frolic in the woods with angels and munchkins.”

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