Some runners, especially women, like to drink wine. This is a big mistake. I consider drinking wine similar to drinking poison.

Runners need frequent fluid replacement. Wine is a poor choice. Though resveratrol and other antioxidants in wine are supposedly good for you, they have a negative impact on running. For those who foolishly choose to drink wine, it should be done only for that rare quiet and romantic moment.

Recently I received a bottle of wine as a gift. I put it in my cupboard, intending to dispose of it first chance I got.

Several days later, It occurred to me I’d forgotten to throw it out. When I took it from the cupboard, I noticed it was cabernet sauvignon, which is such a beautiful word. It’s no wonder French is known as the language of romantics.As I reached for the garbage, my arm brushed a hanging unit that holds pans and utensils. A wine opener fell to the floor.

I didn’t know I had a wine opener, but since I never use it, I must have forgot. Was this a sign? I uncorked the bottle and took a sip.It actually wasn’t too bad. With each sip, it tasted better. So I had a glass, then another. Next thing I knew, the bottle was empty.

I didn’t want my good feeling to end, so I went to the store and bought another.After a couple more glasses, I really wanted a woman to come over and enjoy wine with me. It was awfully late to call someone though. However, thanks to a stroke of ingeniousness, a hot woman was soon at my table.I changed into a nicer outfit and splashed on some cologne. She really liked my wine, and our conversation was so stimulating and romantic.We looked deep into each other’s eyes. I was so taken by her beauty and her charming femininity. I told her that her long, slender, Audrey Hepburn-like neck was so beautiful.

Soon we were toasting to a great evening and great company.

When it was time to bring the evening to a close, I laid down, whispering, “Good night, my precious love doll.”