I thought I’d have a pleasant outing in the woods last Sunday picking huckleberries, but there are some very rude people out there.

This year’s crop of huckleberries is very good.

Because I must run everywhere, I ran from my house to Mt. Spokane, a forty-six mile round trip. Huckleberries, a type of blueberry, grow mostly at high elevation around here. They are delicious and very healthy. I eat plenty fresh and freeze lots for year round eating. Though quite common, they resist domestication and must be picked wild.

There are a lot of huckleberry aficionados, and easy-to-reach patches are heavily picked. I know of an excellent patch on Mt. Spokane that requires some hiking. I’ve been going there for years, and I’ve never seen another picker.

I use a couple milk jugs with the top cut off and when attached to my belt, it frees both hands for picking. As you can see, it was a decent harvest.

I gave myself several pats on the back for coming up with the idea of running home with the containers placed at my hips. Carrying the extra weight will really increase my leg muscle mass.

However, so many people passing by in cars laughed at me. One guy yelled, “Run faster, huckleberry boy!” Oh, I got extremely angry.

I shook my fist at the mean driver who called me huckleberry boy. I don’t like that.

One driver honked his horn, and I waved, thinking it was someone I knew. But no, he laughed and yelled, “Wash up, huckleberry hands.”

Besides purple hands. I usually have purple lips, cheeks and chin too.

Then a problem developed. I glanced behind, and on the road was a trail of huckleberries as far as the eye could see. My berries were bouncing out.

However, I solutioned this issue very brilliantly. If I ran home in only half the time as my normal pace, only half as many berries will bounce out. So what to do was obvious:

Extreme Speedrunning!

Unfortunately, when I arrived home, there were so few berries left. The huckleberry bounce rate increased during my extreme speedrunning.

I became incensed about the wastiture of precious huckleberries. I was seething for hours, and not being able to get hold of my anger management counselor didn’t help either. As I often do, I vented my anger by slamming a pillow against the wall.

So, next week I’ll have to make another trip to Mt. Spokane – by car, which actually is how I got there today. I didn’t really run to Mt Spokane and back. 🙂