I recently read in a scientific journal that theoretically, runners using too many gadgets could cause a meshing of the electrical fields with that of the human body, leading to a separate consciousness forming and taking over.

Theory has become reality. Amy Smet DePaolo, a runner living in Spokane, Washington, has become the first known victim. On an evening run, she had a smart phone on one arm, a heart rate monitor on the other, an ipod, two GPS units on her wrist, and a head lamp.

Amy Smet DePaolo Before Takeover

By week’s end, a doctor’s visit confirmed what her family was seeing. Amy was becoming a walking, multi-purpose, electrical gadget made of human tissue. Her eyes were changing into a digital scanner. Her internal organs were morphing into a motherboard. Two fingers were forming into prongs to plug into outlets.

When she overheard her family planning to short her out to stop the conversion, she fled. Her husband, Toby, now raising their young son alone, tearfully says attempts to get her back have failed.

“She’s too sophisticated. She’s very adept at getting around because her internal bio-GPS unit is amazing. She downloads real-time satellite imagery constantly, so she always knows who’s nearby. “

Toby sees little chance he’ll ever get the old Amy back. However, he’s investigating having his own conversion. “I’m sure Amy would come around if I became a bio-electrical unit too. I’d like to be a large-screen, HD, plasma TV with a really big 256-inch screen, built-in Blu-ray, Netflix enabled, the whole shot. Oh, how our circuits would hum.”