I’ve often wondered if aliens run. Since they spend so much time zipping around the universe on their extended, far-reaching missions, they surely need exercise. Do they have treadmills in their spaceships? Or when they find an inhabited planet, do they come down and get in a workout by entering races?

I checked a bunch of race finisher lists for names that sounded alien-like. I found a 2012 Boston Marathon finisher named Zy Dwaak, however his hometown was listed as Arlington, Virginia.

I spent some time at the website, Ihadareallyweirdexperiencewithaliens.com, and found someone who’d had a remarkable encounter. I contacted him.

Hans Harzl of Steiermark. Austria, was out for a run one evening when bright lights and a loud whoosh filled the air. A spacecraft landed nearby, and a gaggle of aliens poured out.

Hans Harzl went running with aliens.

“I was scared shitless,” Hans said. “I kicked it into high gear, but they caught up and surrounded me. I’ve heard of aliens probing humans, and I begged them to leave me alone. Luckily all they did was run with me – at first.”

Hans said they went a few miles together before they turned back. The aliens told him, in perfect German, they just wanted to go for a run, happened to see him and joined up.

Hans added, “They were in great shape – weren’t even breathing hard. I think they could’ve run me into the ground if they wanted. They gave me a couple training tips and wished me good luck in my upcoming half-marathon.”

“They never did probe you?”

“Actually, they suggested some mutual probing, and it worked out very, very well.”

“Mutual probing? What’s that exactly? Sounds sexual.”

Hans smiled. “Aliens are very, very friendly. I really like them.”