So…okay…here’s the deal; I’m looking for someone to run with. It’s not race related or intense training. Just everyday running for exercise. You, my fine reader, might be just the person.
However, there’s one big issue I must raise first off. If we’re about to head out on a run and you say, “I think I”d rather walk today,” we’re gonna have problems. When it’s time to run, we must run.
There are other requirements, but first, let me make clear that I’ve got an equal opportunity running partner policy. I will not discriminate against any applicant based on gender, race, religion and all those other things except one. If you happen to look like Petra, or are Petra, you’re hired on the spot.
My running partner must be able to run three to eight miles a few times per week. You should run at the same pace as me, but if you pull ahead for a short time, that’s okay. If you get way ahead of me, I get really mad, and I won’t talk to you the rest of the day.
Now, about myself: I’m an excellent running partner. I’ve won many awards for being a nice guy and an unbelievably thoughtful individual. I’m very good at staying on the right side of the street, and I have an uncanny ability to see cars coming.
Please take a moment to fill out the below four-question application. Perhaps soon, you and I will be running together through the streets of Spokane.
1) Do you like running? A___ B___ C___ D___
2) Are you a girl or a boy? Yes___ No___
3) Do you conversationalize well? None___ All of the above___
4) I’m scared of dogs. If one chases us, will you take care of the situation and comfort me afterward?